Eat Monster

Thanks to Squirmy we got two new technicians on our line, one male and really weird the other female and really weird. They both started this week. The female technician is horribly overweight and speaks to us all in a high pitched sing-song voice. It grates on my nerves. I have nicknamed her the Eat Monster because of her insatiable desire to consume any kind of food she can get her pudgy mitts onto. Supertech has noticed her food fiending habits and he makes a point to tell her when he’s noticed food leftovers in a conference room or on some other instrument line. Eat Monster’s eyes light up as soon as he’s told her where the goods are and she loses no time heading off the line to go get some. It’s kinda funny. After she comes back to the area and resumes her work Supertech and I have snuck out to go see how much of the free food she fed her neck. It’s impressive. There’s basically nothing but crumbs and empty soda cans left behind in her wake of destruction.

There’s two kinds of free grub to be had here at Bill and Dave’s. Actually, there’s a third kind of free grub but we don’t get that too often anymore. The first two kinds of free grub fall into the corporate catering category, or the factory peasant potluck category. The third kind (now becoming rare) is the Beer Bust category. Corporate Catering free grub is supplied by the cafeteria to management type people when they are hiding out in a conference room somewhere on the site making business plans that don’t matter. The cafeteria apparently only charges them for the amount of food and drink that they consumed during their meeting. If there are any leftovers when the cafereria employees come to clean up the mess, those leftovers are deducted from the total bill. Being the helpful employees that we are, we like to show up before the cafeteria staff and haul away the remaining goodies to munch on for the rest of the shift. And the management staff gets charged for the full catering bill. It’s a win-win situation as far as we’re concerned. The potlucks I generally don’t participate in because I don’t feel like cooking food for people I don’t like. Sometimes I’ll bring them a bag of corn chips or a two liter bottle of soda, but that’s about it.

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~ by factorypeasant on July 18, 2005.

3 Responses to “Eat Monster”

  1. Dangled participle: “where the goods are at.” Where the goods are is enough. That one’s still your call, though. It’s such a common usage that, even though it is wrong, you may want to leave it in. Also, you misspelled category.

  2. made the changes. thanks for spotting my bad spelling and poor grammar. as always, glad yer lurking about…

  3. laff, didja slip her some sausage to
    eat?

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