Cubicle Dwellers Workout Too

Cubicle people are annoying. I’ve got just as much right as anybody else here to use the employee gym after work. Each day after five o’clock I walk to the workout room and beat myself up pretty good. Generally I hit an exercise bike and peddle away on it until my legs painfully cramp. Then I use some free weights on my arms until my muscles are too sore to pick anything up off the ground. It’s the only way so far I’ve found to knock out some of the stress and get to sleep at night. Ending the relationship with Autumn has really fucked me up, far worse than I would have expected. 

Today I walked into the gym to find about ten other employees from the cubicle maze in Building 1 all decked out in expensive workout clothes. They looked like retards. Almost all of the machines were occupied which was kind of a drag. I walked past a few of them in my street clothes and hopped onto an exercise bicycle. A couple of the cubicle-dicks were looking at me obviously irritated that I was there. Ignoring them I set the bike for a 30min warm up routine and began to peddle. Then this scrawny office skank comes over in her little two-tone gray and pink spandex rig like she’s straight out of an Olivia Newton-John video and yells at me for messing up their regularly scheduled routine. I didn’t know what the hell she was babbling about. Apparently a small group of these jerks show up in the gym at five sharp alternating turns on the machines in a certain order. By being there I was messing it all up for them. How was I supposed to know? It’s not like these self-entitled office workers posted their meeting time on the front doors to the gym or anything.

I didn’t feel like arguing so I just got up and left. As I was driving home I thought about getting a membership at a fitness club or private gym someplace else. There’s a big one nearby the factory, maybe I should just hang out there from now on and skip the employee facility.


~ by factorypeasant on October 19, 2008.

3 Responses to “Cubicle Dwellers Workout Too”

  1. Dude, if you get cramps from cycling you just need to remember to warm up a bit first before going hard at it… likewise for free weights.
    Good on ya for doing this too, nothing quite like an exercise induced endorphin rush for curing the blues…

  2. Exersize iz 4 weak people…call them all an ambulance!!! I will be hurting them with my ultra HamHam super pekz!!!


  3. sounds like a zanadu moment, were they doing jazzercize too?


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