Underground Shindig

Driving over to Autumn’s place after work I experienced an ominous sense of gloom. I wasn’t looking forward to the evening’s planned outing. We were going over to San Francisco with Autumn’s obnoxious pal and her husband to hit one of those underground clubs where you can drink booze after hours. Get your freak going on the dance floor to stupid electronic music only candy raver retards could love. I cared less about going out. My job beat the shit out of me this week. All I wanted to do was sit someplace quiet, drink beer, and kick back. That wasn’t about to happen this night. Fuck. Also, I really wasn’t looking forward to spending the evening in the company of Miss loud leathery skin handbag luggage chick. She grates on my nerves every time words come out of her mouth.

Arriving on Autumn’s block I parked the car on the edge of a mall parking lot. Her street dead ends at the mall. I dragged my feet up two flights of stairs towards Autumn’s apartment, meandered along the balcony walkway towards her door and let myself in. As I shoved the door past me Miss Samsonite was hovering next to the kitchen table blocking the hallway beyond which lead to Autumn’s bedroom. Her mangy hair hung off her head like a tightly braided floor mop. She was already babbling non-stop before I could put my bag down on a big white chair. I caught her in mid-bubbly happy rant. I was so completely turned off at the sight of this woman. People like her bug me partly because they are too happy all the time, and partly because they can’t ever shut the fuck up. It’s not natural to be like that, it’s like they are on Prozac or some shit and that raises red flags. I’m wary. Autumn was nowhere to be seen in the apartment at the moment. She wasn’t in the kitchen, or living room. I peeked past her friends to look into her bedroom. She wasn’t there either. Uninteresting conversation continued for a few minutes. Then I heard Autumn’s voice coming from the bathroom.

This couple Autumn had befriended brought dinner with them for everyone. It was thoughtful, I had to admit. On the kitchen table there was a bunch of little white paperboard boxes filled with a variety of Chinese food. Both of them encouraged me to eat whatever I wanted, but I wasn’t hungry at all. While I stood close to the table looking downward at all the grub in front of me, Miss obnoxious grabbed me by the arm. She said something to me about herself; admitting she is annoying as fuck to be around while laughing it off like it’s all a big cute joke. I wanted to punch her. I told her I hadn’t noticed her obnoxiousness, which was a straight-up fucking lie. I was trying to be nice. While the woman was holding my left arm all the skin below my shoulder began to crawl. The moment she let go I walked away from a corner of the kitchen table to Autumn’s bathroom. Looking inside I saw Autumn busily doing her makeup in front of the mirror. She was wearing one of her revealing low cut latex tops we custom ordered from Skin Two. It had been a while since Autumn got all dolled up like that. A long time. It seemed sort of strange- and then I had a sobering realization. Autumn wasn’t getting herself decked out for me which was pretty much always the case until now. She was getting ready to go out on the town regardless of me being there or not. I suddenly felt out of place, like the world was somehow askew and I didn’t know how to put it back together. Autumn looked good. Inside I bristled because this situation reminded me of my final days when I was still living with that dunce, Jennifer.

The four of us drove across the Bay Bridge in darkness towards a location off South Van Ness. Areas of the city that were previously industrial had been taken over by developers trying to attract young hipster crowds to trendy restaurants, coffee shops, and tiny loft apartments with an expensive monthly rent. We arrived in front of a brick faced building to find a man blocking a doorway where a handful of trendy nitwit twenty something year old kids stood in line impatiently waiting. When it was time to enter, Autumn’s friends forked over cash paying our cover charge as well as their own. Inside, we were confronted by loud techno beats. People were shouting to get drink orders into the ears of a lone bartender. Off to the right there was a medium-sized dance floor with overhead movie screens. Hidden projectors filled each screen with stale 1970s stock film footage or low-res computer graphics that jittered in sync to the DJ’s music mix. Past the main dance floor I spotted a couple of people darting through thick black curtains into another room. Crossing over the area where dozens of idiots were acting like Mexican jumping beans I shoved a heavy piece of dark cloth aside to reveal a chill room. Losers were lying around sparsely strewn on the ground like discarded boards at a construction site. Hopeless stoners. I left and headed for the bathroom to take a leak.

Autumn danced with a dozen strangers who were trying too hard to be cool as I walked by and entered an empty restroom. Electro-beat shit thundered through the vacant, darkened room as I stood in front of a stall pissing away. This music was too busy, I decided. It gave me a god damned headache. Before I finished my business, two guys walked in and complained to each other how “commercial” this underground club was. I laughed at them when I turned to wash my hands at the sink. Why bother? Stay home and read a book, I thought to myself. The whole concept of after hours clubs is dumb, these underground hipster bar scenes are so stupid to begin with.

Returning to the club mayhem I sat myself down on a couch in a far corner of the main area. I didn’t want to be in this place. Intermittently I cast my gaze back and forth from Autumn dancing away near the DJ booth to the rather poor quality visual assault being served above our heads. Time was moving slowly. There wasn’t anything I could do for the moment except sit, stay out of the way, and wait to leave.

~ by factorypeasant on October 31, 2007.

5 Responses to “Underground Shindig”

  1. Ripping good read, FP. And about time, too. But I’m not sure DT’s homeless people with their carts and couches wouldn’t have been more amusing. That is, unless the next post involves you snapping from the monotonous music and murdering ravers. That would rule.

  2. thx bud. glad yer still around reading my stuff. hope you’ve been doing allrite. haven’t written much till now cause i was busy doing some travelling and shit. had some good roadtrips and hit hawaii for a couple of weeks. awww yea.

  3. soooo you got drunk right? did you have unprotected gay sex? thats where this post is headin init? man i’m sorry that happened to you.


  4. Hay u gays dont mind if i move my shopping cart in hear and kind of vommit around a bit do ya? i have some nasty bad dirt on my feet i want to show you…and uh can i have a dollar and some cold pills? Dont mind me i’m jist gwan take a dump here on the fluah….thats…much…betta…now hop to and git me sum pillz bishez!!!

  5. wherz me pillz behshoz? dya like how the place is startin tpo reek like anus? thats my feet. yup. no no no, dont thank me…wait till i take of me sox!!!

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