Dayshift Meetings


Today I was walking through the engineering department on an errand and I spotted this photocopy hanging in someone’s cubicle. I swiped it and made myself a duplicate. This pretty much sums up how I feel about returning to day shift again. So many useless meetings every damn day. Working nights you get to completely side-step all that nine to five background noise and stay focused on your work. Everything about my job seems much more streamlined and direct on swing shift. Being back during normal business hours sucks so bad. The first few weeks I tried to be good about attending those so-called mandatory meetings that take place throughout the morning and afternoon. However, I decided long ago I have no tolerance for dayshift’s petty meetings. This brings all those bad memories back like it was yesterday.

Lately what I have been doing is stay put in my area when any kind of meeting is about to begin. Doesn’t matter if it is a line meeting, a department meeting, a Coffee Talk, a continuous process improvement meeting, an ergonomics meeting, a safety meeting, a shift meeting, a Project Showcase meeting, a last minute who knows what the subject is meeting, or whatever the fuck meeting. I am already sick of ’em.

As my coworkers obediently head out for the next mindless gathering, one or two of them will stop to ask me, “Aren’t you going to the meeting with us, Factory Peasant?”

I always say with a smile, “I’ll be right there. Just give me another minute to finish this up.”

An hour later when they come flooding back into the production line some of them grumble while saying stuff like, “We didn’t see YOU at the meeting, Peasant. Were you there?”

To which I reply, “Oh yeah, I was there. I caught a seat in the back of the room. Didn’t you notice? Those were some great questions you asked by the way. I was gonna ask one or two of those myself but you beat me to it. Darn.”

Satisfied with my lies that I must have been there lurking about in the crowd they go away believing my bullshit. I’ve done that to them every time a meeting goes down, with a slight variation in my story here and there when it suits the situation. I figure I will keep going with it until the Bossman busts me or someone else squeaks in protest that I’m skipping out.


~ by factorypeasant on June 18, 2007.

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