363.50MHz

Being back on day shift is rough. The first two or three hours are the worst really but after that I don’t feel so spun out. Yeah, the mornings are a bitch. One positive thing though is I can call Autumn in the morning at her office to say hello and see how her day has been going. She gets to work every day a couple hours before I do.

I already miss the swing shift crew. When you work with the same people for years becoming good friends it’s tough to suddenly split the scene. Granted there are plenty of employees I get along well with on day shift, but it’s just not the same thing.

Shoelaces usually comes in to work around five in the afternoon. I decided to stay late today before heading home to bullshit with him for a few minutes. As soon as Shoelaces walked through the test area and sat down at the tech bench he shares with JP, I went over to bug him.

On the way from my desk to Shoelace’s technical bench I passed by Greasy Guy’s tech bench and noticed he left his car keys out on his desktop. Nobody had seen Greasy Guy since early that afternoon. Did his usual disappearing act again. Man I’d never do that, leave my car keys out unattended. Too easy to lose them or have a bastard like me mess with you. Pull a prank. Hide the keys or some shit and just sit back to watch you hunt around for an hour or more like a chump. It’s especially dangerous when most of your coworkers dislike you. Greasy Guy has not caught on to the fact yet that he’s a black sheep in the RF Sources department. He’s oblivious to reality.

JP is still unplugging Greasy Guy’s test equipment, one instrument at a time. He’s been doing that for months. Other employees have sabotaged items on or around Greasy Guy’s tech bench independently of JP’s antics. Greasy Guy apparently hasn’t noticed most of his equipment isn’t working which means we know he never uses the gear. It’s all there for show. At least that’s what I think anyway.

After saying hi to Shoelaces and making some idle chit chat I mentioned that Greasy Guy’s car keys were abandoned on his work bench. I told him something *bad* might happen to those keys before I left for the day. Shoelaces’ eyes kind of lit up when I said that. He got out of his chair quickly walking around the corner to Greasy Guy’s desk, and swiped the key ring. Shoelaces came right back to his bench with Greasy Guy’s keyless car door remote in hand. I was laughing as I watched Shoelaces remove some connectors from the RF input on his spectrum analyzer. Curious, I sat up in my chair to get a better view of what he was up to. He preset the box which clears out any previous data and reverts it back to a default general state. After setting a wide frequency span he placed Greasy Guy’s car key remote directly in front of the RF input and pressed the remote ‘unlock’ button.

A nice clean signal spike popped up on the spectrum analyzer’s monochrome green display. The signal peak was marked at 363.50MHz. Shoelaces had a big, stupid grin on his face as he looked over his shoulder in my direction. I knew what he was thinking. We’re both devious like that. Knowing the exact frequency Greasy Guy’s keyless car remote operated at would allow us to fuck with him when he tried to get into his ride. We could be all covert and shit. Bring a minimal amount of equipment with us outside, hide, and wait. As soon as Greasy Guy was close enough to his car door and hit the remote to unlock it we could send a stronger signal out and re-lock his door for him. Or we could just simply jam it so his remote signal couldn’t get through.

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~ by factorypeasant on January 20, 2007.

4 Responses to “363.50MHz”

  1. Mmm, jam… *ahem* Jamming seems especially heinous because his remote could intermittently “fail.” The fact he only had problems at work might not even register. He’d replace batteries, have things work okay for a couple days, then go intermittent again.

  2. That rules.

  3. I used to mess with the supershopper and housewives in a similar manner. I would go over to them, ask a stupid question so I could take a look at what radio station they were listening to on their walkman. i would then go back to my station and find an appropriate antennae and connect it to a sig gen, set it to sweep around the same frequency with some modulation thrown in for good measure. I would then sit back and watch them spend the next few minutes adjusting their station. Then i would turn it off for a minute or so, when they got settled back in to their job I would crank the sig gen back up and watch it happen again. good for a few laughs. Probably not quite as sinister as the key ring though.

  4. RAJ and Wad- i think i can dig it. thanks for readin’ me post.

    barley- i don’t remember you ever telling me you did that to her. i been laffin all day since i read your story. totally see you doing that. this afternoon i was up at the fitness club workin out on a weight machine and i got this image in my head of supershopper lookin’ retard-upset while she’s messing with the dials on her walkman. i started busting up laughing and i almost dropped the whole weight stack. damn. hope you are well, friend.

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