A Simple Rule

Things between Dad and I have become increasingly strained. He’s in a total freak-out panic mental rut. Right now he’s retiring a few years early from his job as a fireman in San Francisco. It’s because of Mom’s illness. Financially paranoid and having failed to plan adequately for retirement years he’s banking on his pension and selling his home here to buy a place out of state. Boise, Idaho is where he’s decided to go. About two years ago I helped move my aunt and uncle to the Boise area. Real estate is inexpensive almost anywhere you go outside of California so Dad is counting on making a fat stack of cash from their house sale and pocketing the remaining money to live off of after relocating. Secretly I think Dad is hoping to use my aunt and uncle as babysitters to look after Mom because he’s too cheap to hire professional help. That’s the only reason why he’s chosen the Boise area.

Being the unstable psychopath that he is, Dad is bungling almost every aspect of his retirement and move out of state. He’s his own full time worst enemy. So far he’s been screwing over his real estate agent here, fucking with the prime contractor who is custom building a home for my parents near Boise, jerking around his real estate agent in Idaho, and he’s making my life a living hell. Dad constantly calls me up at odd hours day or night to bitch about everything. When he isn’t complaining about the most insignificant shit he spends his time hurling insults at me. I’m a rotten son. I’m an idiot. To be honest I don’t know how much more of this I will be able to take before I snap and start throwing punches. That’s how bad it’s getting. You know, there’s a pretty simple rule in life that Dad hasn’t learned yet. That rule is: don’t fuck with the people you have to depend upon.

My stupid little sister is nowhere to be found even though she lives nearby in Oakland. I can’t expect to receive any help or support from her.

Beating the shit out of Dad is sounding better and better every day. He goes out of his way to rage at Mom for no reason at all. It’s cruel. Mom ends up wandering off in the house to go cry. I hate seeing that. Threatening Dad with a broken jaw only gets his attention for a few minutes. He’ll knock it off for a short period of time and then he’s right back at it again like nothing happened. Fucker.

To make matters even more stressful, Autumn has been acting really strange lately. Managing stress is not one of my better skills. I haven’t been able to figure out why she’s being weird but it’s got me seriously worried. Usually I can tell what is bothering her. I know Autumn too well. Most of the time when I sense she is angry or upset for some reason I can talk to her about it and try to find a solution. She’s keeping quiet. That’s a really bad sign.

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~ by factorypeasant on August 10, 2006.

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