Halfshirt’s Butt Snorkel

Over in the instrument assembly area I’ve been hearing nothing but complaints coming from the dayshift crew about a guy named James. Since I haven’t worked instrument assembly in what seems like forever I’m completely out of touch with who is doing what at any given time in their group. Everybody keeps whining about James and I couldn’t figure out who he was. From the sound of things I imagined James was a cranky old bastard with authority who had been working here for decades. Expecting to see a gray haired old man that smelled like a mix of stale coffee and tuna fish I was startled to discover that James is actually a pudgy white guy in his early 20s. I finally spotted him today. As far as I’m concerned he’s a nobody nothing and I fail to understand why people are letting him get away with being a punk.

Complaints range from James being excessively abusive in his choice of words when talking with coworkers to bossing them around like he’s their immediate supervisor. He has no power to be telling anyone what to do. Two people have mentioned to me they wanted to haul him outside and stuff a fist into his face more than once. They were afraid to because James has claimed he’s a black belt in Karate or some shit. I scoffed at that. James looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a size 12 dress. Besides, anyone who really knows a martial art has no reason to publicly announce it to anyone. I smell a fake, a coward.

James is Halfshirt’s personally appointed Butt Snorkel. A royal kiss ass. Since Halfshirt was demoted from working in the NPI department and sent back to regular production he’s been mad about it. For a manager his attitude is very poor. Not wanting to have much of anything to do with production work Halfshirt told his team in assembly that James is the area’s lead. I seriously doubt Halfshirt can do that. Essentially this dumb kid who has no experience was put in charge of an instrument line. Bad idea. The line has been plunged into chaos and turmoil since then. This could really backfire on Halfshirt if things get worse over there. He might earn himself an exit ticket on the next round of layoffs. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.


~ by factorypeasant on July 28, 2006.

4 Responses to “Halfshirt’s Butt Snorkel”

  1. he was my kinda guy.he talked about
    his overly partying days in alaska
    as a boathand if remember correctly
    doing lotsa coke pot booze etc. well
    he went to NA cleaned up his life(so
    he thought) and learned to be a black belt in one of the self defense disciplines.
    he was there after i came back from penang. he was friendly at first. then something badhappened to him i guess?
    he startedacting all nutty and power trippy.telling people who had been there for years how to do jobs. i mean here was basically some rookie starting up shit for no reason. wasnt it bad enough that we were all gonna get the boot sooner or later hehe.
    karma was definately a bitch in his case. months into his reign ‘o terror, his wife lost the her pregnancy. coincidence…or????

  2. just a note to all you people out there in blog-land, i ran this story and the Bug Sue post by a fellow employee who had to deal with these characters first hand for far too long a time. i wanted to make sure i got my facts straight and here’s what he had to say:

    “What up dude! That’s some good readin’! You nailed it! As for Bug Sue’s can of spray…..it was Rid. Even worse than Raid. It’s main use is for killing Lice. Why Bug Sue would be in possession of such a product….. Hmmmm I WONDER?! As for the Ass Kisser…. again….. good stuff. You forgot to mention his special spying device for Halfshirt……his all powerful “Wort Cam”. That enormous thing in between his eyes that makes me think about that great seen from Austin Powers….”MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY”. Again…..great stuff! Oh….I forgot to mention….that with her spraying of Rid…..Bug Sue ended up sending Marlene to see her doctor because after the spraying she started having trouble breathing. Granted….her health was shit… but the Rid caused a flare up.”


  3. yep, now i remember that d-bag.
    dude walked kinda funny too. not a
    nice character. if i was shrunken
    apple head, i woulda decked him!


  4. shrunken apple head… HAH!

    i know you guys liked JC alot but man he really bugged the shit out of me. don’t worry, i’m not gonna beat him down or nuthin here. to be honest i don’t have any good JC stories to share. all i can say is any time you acknowledged his presence, even with something as simple as a yes or no question… you just wasted the next 45 minutes of your life.

    “well, in theory….”


    i still think JC should go as Popeye’s dad for halloween every year.

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