Making A Retard Cry

Dangerous D wrote me bad rent checks. Last month’s rent check bounced. I had a difficult time getting him to cough up cash for covering his portion of the rent. Angry, I told him it had better not happen again. I even considered forcing him to pay the rent from that time forward in cash or with a money order only. I didn’t trust Dangerous D. After I cooled off though I decided since it was his first infraction I should let it slide, give him another chance. His rent check for this month also bounced. Call me a sucker. Lately Dangerous D has been on an ebay buying spree. All the stuff he’s purchased seems like pure crap to me. Last week a large box packed to the brim with 35mm camera equipment showed up on our doorstep. D carefully unpacked those items and left them out on the living room coffee table. When his current rent check bounced I confronted him about it in the living room and pointed at all his camera supplies. “That’s where your rent money went, right?” He had nothing to say.

I’m sick of this guy. I’m tired of his constant mess in the kitchen, the oddball constant loud noises he makes, financial irresponsibility, forgetting to lock the house when no one is here, leaving the stove on when no one is here, and the weirdo girls he picks up online who come over here on blind dates. This shit is mad stupid. I’ve had enough. I decided to kick him to the curb. When Dangerous D came home from work I sat him down and told him he had to move out. I was very clear about my reasons.

I told him, “I agreed to let you move in because you said you needed to save money by lowering your monthly rent costs. I gave you a break by not charging you a deposit and by splitting the rent down the middle with you, which I didn’t have to do. Instead of saving money you’re just as broke now as when you moved in months ago and you still can’t get your shit under control. You’re an adult and I feel like mommy and daddy didn’t do a very good job preparing you for the real world. I’m not your parents, yet it’s like I’m living with a dumb kid I have to take care of. Bouncing rent checks two months in a row is unacceptable. You obviously don’t give a fuck so I want you out of here. You can have the rest of this month plus next month to find another place…”

Tears welled up in Dangerous D’s eyes and he started to bawl. As he sat with his head hung low on the couch he began crying loudly. It was awful. In a sustained, rolling sort of retarded wail D sat there for a few minutes dumping buckets of tears. He became louder as he cried into his lap. Sheesh. I kinda sorta started to feel rotten inside about the whole deal and it reminded me of an incident over at the Colonel’s house many years ago. That day he had invited me over to his place to tell me something extremely important. The Colonel was always playing practical jokes on me so I never knew what to expect. As we sat at his kitchen table drinking beers, he told me that he was gay. Smelling another one of his practical jokes I called him a fag and told him to STFU. After the third attempt at trying to tell me he was Mr. Fruity Boots he started to cry. Then I realized it was for real and I felt mighty low. I’m slow on the uptake sometimes, folks.

There was nothing else for me to say to Dangerous D so I left him there on the couch sobbing and got ready to head out for work. You know what the funny part of this whole thing was? It turned out that most if not all of that 35mm camera gear Dangerous D bought on ebay was broken.


~ by factorypeasant on July 14, 2006.

119 Responses to “Making A Retard Cry”

  1. hahaha stupid teh tard f4g.
    another wise buy!


    tears of a clown… i mean wtf did he expect you to do???

  2. Si foot

    do me a big favor. Take an extension cord strip one end and expose the two bare wires. cram the exposed bare wires up your poop shoot.then have boomer insert his pecker into your mouth and close your jaw just enough to rest your chops comfortably on his have someone plug the other end into the wall socket.after 10 seconds you will enjoy a small appetizer that you just bit off while at the same time getting serviced in the rear.its people like you guys that prey on the people with disabilities just because you feel
    uncomfortable with your own lives.absolutely pathetic.

  3. will do, thanx 4 the tip 🙂

    guess what i want to do to you?



  4. ummmmm,
    quite the lame ass vanilla burn attempt.
    shitfoot, why did you let that fool off so easily? to the anon, why dont you put your name on it? it sounds like the issue means alot to you.
    absolutely pathetic.


    -keep the war party going-

  5. si foot,

    Thanks my bitch.

    you must of fallen out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

  6. oooooh,
    a knight in shining armour has shown up online to defend the poor imbeciles of the planet!!!!!!!

    of course im stupid, i also wanna
    ram my testes down your throat.i also wanna fist your anus dry ’til you bleed and then keep fisting until i start a gay flame down there. be a man, sign your name. im not into anon scenes.with any luck i can get unkie felcher and toni rutledge to tag team in this boi-fest. bring it on f00

    man-pipe you later,

  7. superstar81 is that you?

  8. neato.

  9. Cowboy Up Ladies!!!
    Theres a new Sheriff in town!!!

  10. shitf00t only likes to cowboy down if you catch my drift there, son. right s one f00t?


  11. i wanna see asses and elbows!

  12. try the bare wire experiment first.

  13. one thing for sure that i am learning these last few days reading the brillant works of s1,shoelaces and boomer is not argue with idiots. they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

  14. did you all hear what happened to si,boomer and shoelaces this weekend?si locked his keys in his car. It took over an hour to get boomer and shoelaces out.

  15. did you all know boomer and shoelaces were born by cesarean section… But not so you’d notice. It’s just that when they leave a house, they go out through the window.

  16. si foot has a circular driveway.. that explains why he can never get out.

  17. those all sound like polish jokes. ya hear that shoelaces? you and that crazy blonde haired fake engineer with bad knees ougtta be familiar with these punchlines eh?

  18. Thanks My anonymous bitch.

    If anon. had another brain it would be lonely.

  19. wow teh faux assanine posts of a wanna be rage monkey. c’mon anon
    say it like you mean it. sound off like you got a pair. a couple of jokes you read off of the polack bathroom stalls and posted here does less than nothing… you sissy little gurl sign your name so i can call you out. or maybe you cant because you are absolutely
    read some of the posts about this moron that is getting bashed. he is about as dumb as our
    beloved president puppet dubya. he used his disability to his favor, to the detriment of others. he IS a gheyrod. a lying slug


    anon- saving teh tards since ’06

  20. boomer

    purely dumb post.a little lesson in basic biology that even you can (might) understand. of course if i had another brain it would be lonely, i have never seen any two-brained people in existence, have you?

    let me know if you need any more lessons.

  21. Thanks my ball less bitch.

    Anon living proof that evolution can go in reverse.

  22. laff, another sissy anon posting.
    what the fuck are you anyway, a jehovahs witness???????

    bring it bitch

  23. Jehovah’s Im your worst nightmare.


    s1 foot.will try and convince people that 2 and 2 equals 5.

  24. One time a cop pulled boomer over for running a stop sign. He said “Didn’t you see the stop sign.” boomer says “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read.”
    boomer…They are depriving some village of its idiot.

  25. boomer is the only guy I know that can walk through the forest alone and if a tree fell right in front of him he wouldn’t hear it.
    boomer…The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

  26. Thanks my bitch.

    Jmacs those aren’t one “limers” those are one lamers.

  27. talk about lame boomer.thats all you got?my work here is need to go any foot and the mr quiet laces?ha!
    nighty night lamers
    A-Man is avenged!

  28. laff, almost. worst nightmare eh?
    i doubt it. but check this i think that unkie felcher is YOUR worst nightmare. when you are laying there in bed, late at night. the wind is blowin, you are trying to stroke your peepee, wait! your hear a rustling under your bed…
    its unkie felcher he came for you just like in your dreams. throbbing boner and all! somehow you become paralyzed face down, and your biting the pillow. biting it very hard indeed. unkie chuckles, spreads crisco, then mounts your awaiting bubblebutt.
    you bite down even harder as unkie
    slides his cack all the way up to your tonsils. “its just a dream”, you say to yourself, trying to ignore unkie’s balls slapping against your fat ass. too late you realize, that as unkie felcher’s hands wrap around your throat, this is one ride that you shouldnt’ have asked for. seconds before you pass out from lack of oxygen, you feel compelled to whisper,” unkie felcher, unkie felcher.” to which he replies ,” say my name bitch.” after depositing about a quart of spunk in your boi-hole, he rolls off. you feel shame but only because you already miss his veiny meat.
    you might feel absolutely pathetic after this post. i’ll think good thoughts for you.

    cheers and

  29. Thanks my bitch.

    jmacs are you still picking tonys short hairs out of your teeth?

  30. So A-Hole got the short bus “playas” out from the “underbelly of woodwork” to “front” for him. How “typacal”.
    Now that JSMacs is Unkie Felcher’s bish I can’t wait to read his diary about his first experience with Unkie Felcher. The opening may go something like this..”I laid there petrified with fear as his strong hand reached over my throbbing cock…”

    To be continued

  31. “a-man is avenged”? funk dat!
    the only way that a-man would be avenged is if jesus magically appeared and touched toni’s crotch and made a penis appear. that would take care of the squatting
    to pee issue…


    unkie felcher

    hey, anonjmac lets meet tonite, i miss you too. bwuahahahahahaha

  32. hey toni,

    i know you wont post back on here.
    i do know that you will continue to read this though. get ready for an online beatdown, the likes of which you only had nitemares about.


    i know a gurl named toni,
    she like to ride the bareback pony.
    if you stick it in her ass,
    the stink so bad you’ll wear a mask.
    toni’s bad, she’s bad, nobody is badder,
    but she’s got more crabs than a seafood platter.
    throw down the chokehold, make the bitch sick. pulled down her panties, toni’s got a dick.
    3 inches long and pointing at me.
    kick her in the cunt, then its time to flee.
    toni is a gurl, toni is a boi.
    toni is a gurl, toni is a boi. toni is a gurl, toni is a boi


    this is the story of toni – C:###
    get it?

    later fagg0t 😀

  33. Shitfoot, you frighten me at times. But it IS entertaining, so carry on.


  34. shout out to my peps,,,
    four taking care of these fools and making it hapen,,,yall took care of these chimps and ward on helpin me that these suckas been dealt width,i can leeve on out for good.jmacs,,,you da man!sory boomer,,,you came frontin and now youall lost,,,now you can suck on each others sticks cuz i got my boyz who take car of bidness!!!
    peace out im finaly out

  35. Thanks my bitch.

    Sorry it took me so long to reply I had to take a huge tony and wipe my jmacs really well.

  36. naw boy,,,
    your thenks my bitch is old and week,,,you got played out,,,you lost and my boyz take care of it,,,you think of more lameass shit to write like thanks my bitch while i leeve on outta here for good,,heading to the club whilest you willow in your defeet.
    late boomer,my bitch that lost.

  37. Thanks my bitch.

    Yes tony you and jmacs are my bitches and you are in check.

  38. dammit!!! shoelaces, you shoulda bet me!!!!!!!!!
    toni sux cack
    toni sux cack
    toni sux cack

    always going to the club.
    which one though? could it be the
    blue oyster bar????? look it up on google. police academy fans know it already hehe.

    trust me toni WILL be back, he can never leave.
    and him and his bois think that this was a win. ok so be it.
    1st prize is big black cacks in the throat. look the line is forming already!

  39. ok skeez
    do your duty and spill the beans on little boi toni. were waiting
    or unkie felcher gonna shank you up the buttox with his pig-sticker

  40. s_f

    i just came back from the club to fetch a killer mix cd for Anton-hes on his game tonight thanks to what went down.
    skeez aint gonna spill nothing.skeez on vacation for 2 weeks by the time skeez get back it will all be over. you and your boyz got took out plain and can credit me for assembling Da Team aka delta force.i developed a strategy,assembled the team and slowly and methodically took you out.72 hour seek and destroy like al kida style and shit.Anton is ripping it up at the club and is fenna uproot the house dj.Anton aint coming back here because Da team took care of bizness and thats all he wanted.we even knew what boomer was gonna say and what you were gonna say and shoelaces just follows yall lead.took out the body and then went for the head of the snake-surgical style.thanks my bitch…talking about ass pounding was predicted by agent JMacs.thats why we attacked yall with force then the decision was to not let up until yall i gots to get back to the club and tell my boys yall are still on here dazed and confused.our job is done,Anton is avenged and there is nothing more to be said.yall can pick yoselves up and find the crumbs.its over.

  41. Tony prepares to go to the club.

    Check list:

    Orthopedic ballys:check

    Obsession for pussys:check

    Water pistol: check

    Rape kit: check

    GHB: check

    Short fuse: not yet time to sign on to bill and daves.

    Tony decides he is not in the right state of mind to head on on out the club so he checks on to bill and daves to start some shit. Tony gets on starts talking out his ass, after a short time Boomer has handed him his ass, again and tony is throughly “pised”. Not knowing what else to do Tony yanks his monitor off the table and throws it to the ground then grabs the phone line and not only rips the line out of the socket, but also all the wires inside the wall come flying out. Tony in a fury grabs his water pistol stuffs it in his waiste band and heads out to the car. Before getting in his ride he decides his car has been acting up too so he gives it a swift kick in the fender. Tony’s “friends” sensing that tony has just gotten his ass kicked again on Bill and Daves try to calm him down to no avail. The whole drive over to the club tony has three little words running through his head again and again; “Thanks my bitch, thanks my bitch, thanks my bitch…….”. Upon arrival at the club tony is now in furry! What will he do stay tuned and follow the next episode of “As the retard toils.”

    Tony 1/3 owner of an easy bake oven.

    P.S. almost forgot Thanks my bitch.

  42. w0w i got ass canned by a pack of sniveling eleventeen year olds.
    delta force ? al kida? i looked for the crumbs, but they are stuck in yo teefs. are you foos wearing grills? im sure they are just gold spray painted lead knock-offs, just right for cheap pricks like you. the only thing spinnin is tonys peepee on
    check it, toni is the boi on top, spinning away. GO mr. dj

  43. So the car pulls up to the drive thru window and places his order.boomer says “may I help you?” the man replies
    “what about my order!”boomer says “what order?” the man grows impatient and asks the manager what is theProblem what boomer. The manager replies “boomer may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

  44. On the freeway I noticed the new antidrug sign that says”Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is boomer.”

  45. The other day boomer wanted to play horse. Boomer said you can
    be the front end and ill be myself.

  46. Boomer is so dam ugly that , robbers give him their masks to wearWhen they came to rob his register at the drive through window.

  47. Tony at the club.

    Tony enters his favorite club in an absolute blather after another thorough ass kicking from Boomer. Tony in a complete daze still has the words “Thanks my bitch” and some other choice one “limers” running through his head. Suddenly he finds himself right next to the DJ’s table and Tony snaps out of his funk, but he is still “my so freeking pised” when he remembers that tonight Boomer had told him that he was a no rhyming bitch. Now when Tony looks at DJ shazam he doesn’t see shazam he sees a figure he blieves resembles his arch enemy Boomer. Knowing that it cannot be Boomer he lashes out “you are even a woreser rimer dan booma” and he kicks the dj table. Shazam a little caught off guard, but still pissed that this idiot would interupt his set barks back, “chill out special ed and leave the mixn’ to the pros.” Tony is now seeing red and decides he must take revenge on df shazam, but for now he will lay in wait, scoping out his opprotunity. After Tony has stewed in his venom for about an hour he sees his opprotunity to strike, dj shazam is really in to his biz so he is not paying attention to tony. Tony strikes with the fury of grade school girl scratching, slapping and kicking. Tony is now going for the coup de grace he is going to pull dj shazams hair out by the roots. However his attempt is blocked and to the credit of shazam he doesn’t miss a beat he keeps on cutn and mixn with one hand while beating tonys ass with the other. The crowd is going wild with laughter and excitment. Tony in raged decides he is going to teach this bitch a thing or two so he reaches for his water pistol and gives it a yank to pull it out of his pants. However the pistol gets stuck in tonys pants and he accidentally fires off a few squirts into his pants, now the crowd is really going nuts because it looks like tony pissed his pants. Tonys “friends” are feeling really embarrassed now because everyone saw them come in with him so they decide to lend tony a hand and attack the dj. Now shazam has to stop mixn to take on two new jabronies, he doesn’t have to worry about tony now because he is currently laying in the fetal position on the floor with one thumb in his mouth and the other stuffed in his ass. So shazam commences to kick the living shit out of these two half wits with no trouble, seeing enough humor for one night the bouncer comes over to the dj table, grabs tonys boys by the collar and leads them to the door. When another bouncer comes over to grab tony they realize he “rang” away. Tonys “friends” feeling totally humiliated now decide to take it out on some one in the club so they punch the coat check girl. The bouncers are not laughing now as they go for tonys partners, they try and scurry for the door, but are unable to get out in time. The bouncer again grabs them by the collars and then slams them together. There heads collide and they are out cold, the club staff calls the police and the two knuckle heads are taken into custody. On the way to the police station the cruiser passes a strange sight. A small jacked up looking fellow wearing orthopedic ballys is taking a piss on a mail box. The cop stops and questions the dude and sure enough its tony. The cop asks tony “what are you doing”, tony spins around in a hurry and reaches for his water pistol and screams” i hated dou boma ia dona fiil yo wid wader bisch” the cop jumps back grabs tonys arm and knocks the water pistol to the ground. Realizing that it is only a water pistol and looking at tonys id seeing where it says “retard” under his picture, the cop decides to let him go with just a public urination citation. On the walk home tony forgets about everything that happened this night. Until that is when he gets home and into his computer room where he finds his monitor on the floor and his phone line ripped out of the wall. Then all the memories coming rushing back like a tsunami. Tony flys into a blind furry smashing everthing on his computer table with a baseball bat. This low iq induced rages goes on for about an hour and ends with tony laying on his bed nude amongst the mess he had created. He is now mummbling inaudible to himself over and over while sucking his thumb and beating his meat, having thoughts of bill and daves dance through his head.

    Tune in next time to “As the retard toils” and see the aftermath.

    No tony you stupid bitch i like strawberry frosting on my cakes.

    And of course special thanks to my bitches you know who you are.

  48. Boomer, there’s a new invention that just came out. It’s called paragraphs.

  49. The aftermath.

    The next morning Tony wakes up holding his little peter and slobber all over the pillow. Again tony has forgotten everything that has happened last night, obviously someone had broken into his home while he slept and smashed his pc. Tony hurrys to the phone to call his good bud and computer literate friend, skeez. Tony explains about his prowler problem however skeez aint buying it you see skeez just got back from bailing tonys boyz out of jail so skeez says “whatever” and hangs up. Now “whatever” in tonys mind must mean that skeez is heading right over so he pulls up a chair to the front door and waits. Well around midnight tony realizes that skeez aint coming by, he must of had an emergency yeah thats it, so tony calls his boyz to see if they want to go out again. Well his boyz are even more rude to tony, they don’t say anything to him they just hang up. Tony sensing something has gone wrong now, figures it has to be the evil work of Boomer on the very bad website bill and daves, yes Boomer must have gotten to skeez and his boyz. Tony cant confirm this because his computer is in a million pieces so he heads out looking for any late night internet cafe or maybe to the public library. After driving around for a couple of hours unable to find a place to get on the internet tony gives up and heads home. Once at home tony is mightly depressed so he goes to the closet opens a fifth of whiskey and begins to drink, thinking of ways to cheer himslef up. When it finaly dawns on him what he could do to make himself happy, he will do what always makes him happy. He is going to make cakes in his easy bake oven. So that is what tony does until 7 or 8 in the morning; pound down liquor and makes cakes and he couldn’t be happier.

    And that conculdes this tale of “As the retard toils”

    Come on tony squirt a few….bitch.

    Thanks my bitches.

  50. im getting light headed reading this stuff and laughing my ass off.
    check out the trifling whiney posts and vanilla burns that these
    mouseketeers are proud of. omg the lameness of it all. c’mon you gots to have better than this.
    didn’t yo mommies teach you better than this. it might be time for another unkie felcher episode. yep, im sure he can throb his way deep up inya and show you the path to enlightenment.

    all right hoe-bags, man-pipe you later.


  51. toni “wet the bed” rutledge!
    stand up and take a bow!
    i know you got to get up early to
    cruise the jr. high school for underage luvin, so i’ll make this short and sweet.
    you got hella (AND I DO MEAN HELLA)
    burned. get back in the closet where you belong pansy.


  52. notice how boomer resorted to writng jibberish,long incoherable garbage just to mask the devasting strikes by Da asked for a war you got one chump you and yo clowns

  53. iwas thinking the same.none of that made any dam sense.he grasping for shit now

  54. hahahah the funny thing is these assholes scoured the internet, third grade joke books, and public bathroom stalls for hours and this is the best they can do.

    Tony and his boys, the faggots of the Apocalypse.

  55. post your names you chickenshit retards. and quit looking at the cubscout books of burns to try and outwit peeps. it makes you look dumber than toni.

  56. “Incoherable”! That’s classic!


  57. TONI, you fucking retard!

  58. toin, you fucking retard!

  59. toni, you dyslexic retread!

  60. toni, you cum guzzling gutter tramp

  61. hey retard toni.
    hiding behind your peeps.
    be a man. a retarded one at that.
    does this make you want to kick your ride or slap your momma or punch a monitor? tell us. we would all like to know. you know you neve talk about women. i wonder why.
    too much cack in your diet?

  62. retard toni, you are absolutely pathetic !

  63. retard toni, you are absolutely pathetic !

  64. aight gorfies,,,
    quit dat shit. boomer is that you,,, i am not retaarded. quit picking in me. its not fare. ok delta force,,, back my shit up for me. i down for set at the clubb. i am better than you becuz im can spin mad beets,,,

    im out

  65. toni, shut up you fucking retard.
    spin this mushmouth

  66. did yall hear boomer almost had a psychic girlfriend… she left him before they met.

  67. boomer supports bacteria cuz its the only culture boomer can relate to.

  68. If boomer had an open mind his brains would fall out.

  69. boomer stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
    he got a full house and four of his homies died.

  70. did you hear that boomer used a silencer to shoot a mime that rhymed better then he could.

  71. There was a power outage at the mall yesterday. boomer and his senekots were trapped on the escalators until the fire department came.

  72. boomer is more confused than Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.the other day it took him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes

  73. boomer has to be diagonally parked in a parallel universe. If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.

  74. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; boomer only gargled.give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d only get change.

  75. I heard boomer so dense that light bends around him.listen in his ear and youd hear the sound of the ocean

  76. My trip to Las Vegas.

    I recently spent some time in Las Vegas and I had a great time. I took in some shows won some money gambling and just hung out in the desert. There is this one peculiar story that I thought I would share that the other members here at Bill and Daves might find interesting.

    One day while walking down the street I began to hear the faint sound of someone crying. So I look all around me because you know you can never pass up a chance to save a damsel in distress however I see nothing. So I continue on down the street and as I do the crying gets louder and louder until finally I reach the street corner. By now the crying is an all out blubber. So I look down in the gutter and I see Tony laying there with a bottle of orange flavored mad dog 20/20 clasped in his little jacked up hands. You know the hands I’m talking about, they are curled up in tight little fists except for his index fingers which are pointing straight out flat as a board. So I kneel down and I say to tony:

    Boomer: “Hey tony barony what’s the matter?” tony just loves it when I play with his name like that.

    Tony: “Ooh hay Booooma!” sniffing away trying to fight back more tears as he continues. “I am juust upsetted coz everyboody hateds me!!!” Which prompts tony to an all out ball now.

    This comment rubs me wrong a little so I reply back. “That’s rediculous tony you have not met everybody yet.”

    Now tony lets out an ear piercing shriek the kind that could shatter glass. Then I continue on with a song in my heart and a spring in my step for I know what a great thing I have done for this world.

    Tony is so ugly his mamma has to feed him with a sling shot.

  77. well at least these fools dumped the cub scout book of jokes and graduated to the girl scout book of jokes. keep ’em comin gurls.
    some were even worth a chuckle.
    but you still suck balls.
    toni sucks for a nickle, swallows for a dime. he’ll even bend over for a lame ass rhyme.
    toni you fucking retard!

  78. hi, my name is toni,,,
    one of my shoes has a 4 inch heel. but my clubfoot still makes me walk with a gimpster lean.

    peace out.

    i spin madd veets

  79. Pssst hey tony its me your ole pal, Wild Turkey. Come on man forget this shit and come to me like the old times. Come on tony you know I am the only one who understands you….consume me tony consume me and be one with everything.

  80. Im laughing my arse off! Best thread Ive read in awhile.

    Tony, nice work. Although you need to get a little more vicious and go for the kill.You almost got em!!!


  81. yay! toni try harder. go for the kill. you can do it! but first take that 18″ dildo out of your ass
    so you quit walking funny.
    toni is a silly butch dyke with a 2″ clit… hubba hubba

  82. “Teh camping trip”

    it was a sunny summer day.
    birds were chirping and bees were buzzing. the funky fresh 5 crew
    (tony, jmacs, glock, js, and KM)
    went on a camping trip to the lake.

    after setting tents, toni offered
    to mix drinks. *he cant mix records after breaking his turntables in a jealous
    homosexual lovers episode*
    trying to be the winner at almost anything, tony decides to spike the drinks with roofies.
    he laffs to himself thinking,”heh when these slices pass out i’ll be cool cuz i’ll be the only one awake”
    unfortunately for toni he cant count. so he spikes all five drinks… big ooops.

    unbeknownst to the “fab 5” that particular lake is a well used site for gay cruising and hookups. of course,toni made the plans, another ooops.

    well, after toni’s *joke* drinks
    were downed. everyone blacks out.
    they pass out face down. next a
    large group of ex-con fruit loops
    come hiking out of the woods.
    what do they find??? they find the funky bunch ready for date rape!
    about 30 tattooed, bearded and extremely horny men start tearing shit up. plugging every boi-hole
    multiple times!!!!!!!! ooooh.

    these 5 bitches were getting tossed around like rag dolls from
    one raging boner to the next. multiple perversions occured. one mean tramp even shat in toni’s sloppy mouth. he wiped his ass on toni’s head and face.

    HOURS later the 5 bois woke up,
    bleeding out of their asses and
    gagging on man paste and farting out cumm bubbles. “what the fuck
    happened?” they wondered. 4 of em look a toni. “alright bitch what
    happened?” “everything was cool until you made the drinks!” toni
    puts his head down and spills the beans, knowing in defeat that his
    lameness backfired once again.

    the only break that toni gets is that the bois see crap around toni’s lips and head and figure
    he got the worst of it. “hey i didnt get a beatdown”, says toni, “that means
    i’m the man,i am a winnar”

    the moral of this story is if you down with toni or his crew you are gonna get ass-clowned or ass raped.
    cum back toni we need you. your bois are powerless to keep us from fucking you up.

    bring it bitches!

  83. still waiting suckasses. you must need “comebacks and burns for dummies” its available at barnes and noble. i’ll even chip in the first dolla. maybe your just beating your weenies to the last posting…silly faggots

    toni, lick the dogshit from my boot

    half-assed mulligans – all of toni’s peeps

  84. actually Tony and his delta force is doing a great job.I can’t believe they are actually pulling it off but the beatdowns are classic AND without the use of vulgar words and explicatives. My vote is for Tony and his team.


  85. bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha thats too funny oscar and km yeah they are winning hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha perhaps if this was third grade and the object was to say stupid burns you read in a book.

    I guess your on the iq level of d and tony.

  86. tru dat.
    here is a classic beat down from waaaaaaay back. my first dirty joke.
    wanna hear it? toni tripped and fell in a mud puddle….huhuhuhu
    get it?

    fucking doofus

    my vote is for oscar and his cherry ripe anus spread it bitch!

  87. Just an observation here…
    i think the choice of beatdowns used by delta force or whatever is rather refreshing; a nice change from the vial and foul mouthed crap that is spewing from sf and the rest. All the beatdowns are humorous but id have to agree with oscar. lets shy away from the cursing and vulgarity and stick with intellectual battles of this point, tony and company are winning that battle.
    good luck to both teams.


  88. I met Anthony a few weeks ago and I was told to write a few things about him.
    Contrary to that camping story Tony is sweet,adorable, and an animal in bed contrary to all stories that were written about him. He has all the right moves and knows when to use them when he is on the dance floor or dj booth.

    Last week he sent me a dozen roses each day at work. He also gave me a very very generous gift card for Macy’s and he is planning on flying me and my friend to Hawaii for the week.

    I cant understand why anyone would dislike someone because of the high profile people they interact with.

    sherri j.

  89. You were “told” to write a few things about Anthony? What the hell is that about? I haven’t read every single comment so I’m not sure which camping trip you’re referring to. It doesn’t surprise me to find out how good Tony is in bed. Shitfoot has regularly agreed with you that Tony is a great lay.

    benny blanco from the bronx

  90. Just went back and found the camping story. Not bad, Shitfoot. Not bad at all. My 85 year old grandma has written 45 gay romance best sellers over the last 20 years under the pen name “Bonemaster”. Her arthritis is acting up and she wants to retire, but wants “Bonemaster” to live on. She asked me to keep an eye out for people she could “pass the Bonemaster torch to”. I showed her some of your work and she thinks you have potential. You can make a lot of money. Think about it.

    She does have one bit of advice for you. As I said, she thinks you have potential, but says that you need to make the sex scenes less tender and more violent.

    benny blanco from the bronx

  91. benny,
    you are a lame ass.You have a great family legacy that I am sure your very proud of. Im sure some of your grandmas bulsshit got passed along to you.Maybe you should team up with SF and write novels together while camping on brokeback mountain.I bet you can write volumes after getting inspired and inseminated on that mountain

  92. thank you Benny B!
    bless you and granny. she sounds like a nice lady. and im an instant fan of anything penned by “bonemaster”. i will take the advice she gave and use more violence in the “love” scenes.
    also thanks for showing my work to granny. i like a positive review every once in a while… it feeds my muse.

    NOW back to toni’s associates who are now coming out of the woodwork. i’m pleased to meet you! i just consider you more part of toni’s delta force spew. trust me i am waiting for a punch to the crotch that i’ll never forget.but, the difference between toni and his peeps and myself, is that i understand that this is the “internets” i dont know you, you dont know me. if you cant stand the heat … get out of the frying pan.
    its just that simple. burn-less burns are just not kosher.they are silly at best. if you think i use too much foul language that just means i have to get *kinnison* on you lame asses.
    it will be my pleasure.
    by the way, it sounds like all it took for toni to get a post from a girl was a trip to hawaii not only for her but for a friend too…laff
    toni, i’ll be your *gurl* for a free trip to bermuda!!!!


  93. Tony,

    Congratulations! You learned how to spell! I mean, “bullshit” is spelled wrong and there’s a few punctuation problems, but I grade based on improvement and let me tell you, I am SOOOOO proud of you. In fact, I think I’m going to go over to the Sonoma Developmental Center and tell your parents right now. They’re going to be thrilled that I can finally, after twelve attempts, on behalf of the California Department of Education, officially give you a passing grade on the 6th grade English Exit Exam. Keep up the hard work and I promise you, in ten years, you’ll finally have that coveted GED.

    benny blanco from the bronx

  94. toni is a tard!

  95. nice squirt gun action there toni!

  96. more anon lame ass delta force spew???
    bak bak bak, here chick chick chick

  97. And here is a new tale from “As the Retard toils”

    As the retard toils…..

    It’s fourth of July a time for bbqs and celebration, but tony is “freeking pised”. You see he has had his ass kicked once again my his nemesis Boomer on the dreaded website, Bill and Daves.

    Tony is over at his boys house trying to enjoy the burgers and dogs, but he still cannot get those “hartful and dabaltaing cements” that Boomer laid on his ass out of his head. Now there are fireworks going off all over town. These loud noises are bad news for a ill tempered, low iq, jacked up body, paranoid, fridget little pussy like tony. The fireworks keep going off over and over everywhere and everytime one booms loudly tony jumps scared out of his mind.

    One of tonys “friends” mentions to no one in particular that these fireworks are really booming. Now tony misunderstands this to mean that Boomer has really put the firepower to tony. So now tony is livid not only is this Boomer guy beating the shit out of him on the internet, but now he has turned his “friends” against him. Tony is really out of his fucking gord now and is quite certain that Boomer is here somewhere, but where. Tony looks around, but cannot find him, but he knows he can hear Boomers voice repeating over and over “Thanks my bitch”. Tony franticly looking around finally comes to the conclusion that Boomer is hiding on top of the canopy. He makes a mad dash for the pile of fireworks and grabs the biggest bottle rocket he can find and shoots it into the canopy.

    The canopy goes off in a blaze and tony thinks to himself “good i hoppe it burneds the hole huose down”. See in tonys mind if it burns the house down he can kill two birds with one bottle rocket if you will. For one he would have burned his #1 enemy Boomer and he would have also gotten even with his boys for taking Boomers side against him.

    Now tony knows he can’t stick around fearing that his boys would kicked the living shit out of him, Boomer style. So he “rangs away” laughing the whole way home. When tony gets home he contemplates, get on to Bill and Dave’s to gloat or to pull his pud in a victory masturbation….I think you all know which one he chose, lets just say we didn’t hear from tony for a while after that.

    Here boys I’ll take one of your lame jokes and make it funny for you. Why did tony cross the road? Cuz he had his dick stuck in a chickens ass.

  98. Sherri J. seems to not understand why people around here don’t like Tony. She only met him a few weeks ago, so maybe we can enlighten her as to why no one likes him. Maybe disliking Tony is an acquired taste. Myself, I acquired that taste within a few hours, but let’s see if I can help articulate why. If anyone else wants to add to Sherri J.’s understanding, by all means please do so. It would take about fifteen pages of typing and it might help if we could all share the burden. Here goes…

    Tony lacks self-confidence and has extremely low self-esteem. He tries to come off as someone with high self-esteem, but like most people who have low self-esteem, they don’t know what it’s like to have high self-esteem, so when they try to come off as someone with high self-esteem, they do dumb stuff like brag about how rich they are and all the important people they know, things that people who really have high self esteem don’t do. Even if he was rich (which he isn’t) or knew famous people (which he doesn’t), it would still be pathetic. Even more pathetic is that when people don’t believe him, he goes out and asks everyone else to write in on his behalf. So that’s reason one from me.

    Reason two why I don’t like Tony – All right, I admit it, I’m jealous that he can make beer and I can’t.

    Reason three – I’m jealous again. I’m not any good at DJing.

    Reason four – Again, jealous – My friends have nicknames like Vernon D. and Factory Peasant rather than cool nicknames like Glock and Skeez. It’s not a total loss though. Benny Blanco from the Bronx is a pretty cool nickname.


  99. boomers lazy eye is no excuse for screwing up orders at the drive thru window. dig it,supervisors and coworkers of boomer say they are aware of his lazy eye, but that it is hardly noticeable when weighed against his slothful work performancce.

    boomers boss said and I quote:
    “More obvious than that freaky eye is the way boomer climbs (C-section birth defect) into the drive thru window fifteen minutes late, takes five minutes to button his shirt, and spends half the day huddled around that goddamned soda machine. Hell, I couldn’t care less about his visual handicap – I’d hire a ex-con with a colostomy bag if I thought the bastard would at least get some work done.”

  100. Tony… is a bitch. As are your friends. Good, I can feel your anger. Your pc is unarmed. Take your weapon. Strike it down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete.

    Weak bitches real weak. Better come up with some better shit or I am going to give the keys to the stable to unkie feltcher and let him have his way with you assholes.

  101. Let me pick up from there, Bill. I dislike Tony because I just put all the pieces together. It turns out that for all of this time, Tony has been my roommate and I never realized it. I was doing some drinking with Factory Peasant yesterday and we were talking about common acquaintences and bad roommates. We discussed the dates of when he kicked Dangerous D. out, and even through the fog of way too many Jaegermeisters, it dawned on me that my roommate moved in about the same time that Factory Peasant booted Dangeous D.

    One by one all the similarities fell into line: the burning down of my house after my roommate, supposedly a trained elecronics technician, replaced a light switch. The second burning down of my house from leaving the stove on. The attempt at using two empty cardboard boxes to support a three hundred pound T.V. More and more similarities, too many to be a coincidence. The online dating, the bigotry towards Mexicans, and especially the bouced rent checks.

    I suppose it should have clicked when I came home twice to find a broken window and a shattered monitor on the driveway just below my roommate’s room. I probably should have connected the dots when my roommate introduced my to an out of work felon named Skeez who replaced his monitor, but then again I’m sometimes a bit slow. I was so used to my roommate Tony burning things down that I didn’t put it all together when I got home the night of July 4th and found my canopy and lawn burned, then saw it on the blog. Again, I’m a little slow at times.

    But I’ve finally figured it all out. My roommate, Tony Rutlege, and Dangerous D. are all the same person. Sherri J., for all of those reasons and not his supposed association with influential people, I truly hate Tony Rutlege.

    I hate him even more now that I realize he bounced yet another rent check in order to buy a very very genorous Macy’s gift, dozens of roses, and fly two hookers to Hawaii.

    Vernon D.

    P.S. The thing about me losing my balls was a hoax. Bill, what did I do wrong? How come no one bought it?

    P.P.S. Sheri J., I’m going to Hawaii soon. How much do you charge?

  102. OK $h!t_433!$. This one is for you, it is pretty lame you keep up your attack on Toni. Especially with the homosexual slant. Anyone that runs around calling everyone fag and makes homo slurs against them is most likely a closet homosexual. I guess the shit foot nick must come from the fact your ass is so reamed out you cant help but shit all over your feet.
    Is this all because your mail order moo-slime bride had her clit chopped off by daddy when she was 12 (a year or so before you married her) and you are very distraught over the fact you cant make her cum?
    I am not a toni gang banger. I could really give a shit about some wanna be clubber and his buddies. I just like this blog the way it was before you started in on your gayness, all over an argument about beer. pretty fucking lame man.

  103. great post bill.
    my input follows:
    if some of these slices actually read some of factory peasants topics, they would realize that he is now telling about a tech company
    that is foundering and about to join the great race to send manufacturing overseas. just like alot of american chickenshit companies. im sure shareholder value had alot to do with this nonsense.
    my guess is that like myself, other folks (not including toni’s crew) also had to go through
    some of this b.s.
    well, when you have to endure crap like this, you might tend to look at the world a tad differently.
    and when some fool(toni) shows up flapping his gums, be prepared to reap what you sow.
    everyone is welcome to read and post here, no matter who you are.
    just dont expect people to lay down if they dont like what you are saying…
    talk to ya later


    p.s. i hate toni

  104. well well well,
    the brass balls on this one.
    props to you MM, you slapped my nuts hard! funny thing is, this is the internet most of this shit is anonymous. what you said is ENTIRELY true. the magic has now dissapated. over, poof! you a crying little faceless individual.
    oh help me rhonda!!! shitfoot has posted some raunch! my eyes burn!
    i feel strange sexual urges that i never felt before!
    a real decent person would tell the mod: factory peasant hey tell shitfoot to tone this gayness down, or turn it off.
    you know me and you probably know peasant too, that is cool.
    but you went about addressing your concerns the wrong way. i’ll just say this in closing, the faggotry will continue because I KNOW IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. get it queerbag?
    lets hope so

    next time retract your claws you fucking queen

  105. mm = closeted sissy boi
    methinks thou must meeteth unkie felcher and his brother unkie fist.
    they’ll be tag teaming up on you later…

    be seeing ya’


  106. oh marshal mathers,

    i guess you are done. angry little
    girl only gots enough for one spew.
    i got lots!
    so…wanna get personal eh?
    you will probably get a little uncomfortable with this, but bear with me. guess who turned your daddy out? it was me i made him my ankle grabbing bitch. he even shaved his browneye for me(thats hot)
    wanna know whats even better?
    he told me a secret about you teehee
    after i plowed him he started getting the urges to plow a boi-hole. he told me about the lubeless penetrations that he made you endure in the middle of the night. he would sneek up on you while you were asleep, mount you,
    then pump away until he reached sweet,sweet ecstacy. the worst part of it was your mama was in the other room snoring. if she ever got up to use the bathroom, papa would apply the choke-hold to keep you from calling her in to help you. too bad she never did…(sniff) you still hate her to this day. you hate daddy even more because, til this day,
    you still crave that dry cock plowing your once tender starfish.

    you love it, you know you do

    im here for you in case you need some. like the old saying goes,
    “like father like son”

    damn, i gotta go beat off now.
    see, you are still busting my balls

  107. i am satisfed,,,
    i dont care what anyone on hear thinks about me boyz helped me out and layed out some awesome beetdowns.and on top of that,,we didit classy style.i lerned not to take shit so personal AND that some people are much worse of than me and will do whatever because of jellosy or whatever hangups.i had my homies look shit over and we got boomer and s1 a bunch of times.i even told my peeps to reed em and everyone told me that it was good and now i feel better that i can move on outta here cuz i proved that i can hang in the comp world.
    the facts are that i still roll with alot of homies and famos peeps;got my own biz and started rollin in benjis from my mixes and dj’n on fri-sun.yall can come check me out at tabus ultra longe next month as asistint to the king mix master and youall know who im talkin bout. if you ever get to sin city check me out.
    i dont care what skeez or anybody said cuz i learned my lesson the hard way these last few months and now that da cru helped me out i can go and leeve this shit.s1 is now battlin and jmacs told me it was not our style to try and explot that shit and we would make a beter statement by leavin on outta here..i aint ever comin back to this shit-you all put my thru hell and back and now i cansay at lest boomer and the rest got some medacine of there own.aint frontin,,,no hard feelins,just happy to beoutta here,peace all,,keep it real and stay str8!!
    anthony R.

  108. Hey Po0p_b0ot,
    Thanks for the nice comments. I realize now that you are dealing with issues deeper than not being able to please your wife. So your mom didnt cum to your rescue while your daddy took what he wanted from you. Sorry to hear that.
    Just wanted to get back to you as soon as i could so you can finally stop hitting “F5” on your keyboard. Probly been at it for the last 16 hours. Now you can get back to looking for more of your gay porn links. Happy fisting to ya.

  109. Good afternoon this is Howard Cosell I’ll be bringing you the blow by blow of this heavyweight championship bitch slap bout. Lets go to Micael Buffer for the introductions.
    Michael Buffer: LLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEETTTTTTTTSSSSSSS GET REAAAAAADDDDYYY TO RUUUUUUUUUMBLE. In the righteous corner we have the heavy weight champion of the world weighing in a 225lbs BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMERRRRRRRRR and in the cripple corner weighing in at 75lbs Tony “twinkle toes” Rutledge.

    Now tony and Boomer are in the center of the ring getting instructions from the ref. Boomer is looking down at the top of twinkies head with a nasty sneer and tony is gayishly staring at Boomers belly button.
    Ref: Ok you guys know the rules so lets have a clean fight and let the best man (Boomer) win.

    Howard Cosell: Boomer is looking in top form tonight and this twinkle toes guy is really looking scared and over matched. Well theres the opening bell and Boomer runs across the ring and gives tony a quick left right combination to the head AND DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE,DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE,DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE,DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE,DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE,DOWN GOES RUTLEDGE. Theres the count no way does twinkie get up from that and THATS IT the ref is calling it off rutledge is out cold.

    Celebration ensues as Howard tries to get a few words from Boomer.

    Howard Cosell: Boomer first let me say congratulations Boomer that looked like you weren’t even trying. Tell me was your strategy all along to just bum rush and overwhelm him and dispose of him so quickly.

    Boomer: Thanks Howard. No that wasn’t my initial plan, I mean I knew I thoroughly had him out matched. At first I was going to just feel him out and see what I could do, but then during the instructions the dude was staring at my stomach like a queen so I thought I would teach him a lesson. Also I could tell he was scared of me and like a shark with blood in the water I went for the kill.

    Howard Cosell: Thanks for the words Boomer and again congratulations. Now let me see if I can get a few words from the vanquished. Rutledge let me ask you something. Did you expect Boomer to come out so aggressively.

    Tony: eco takc suki hey doomi day footedmages taki dat formsee.

    Howard Cosell: I guess he is still a little woosy from the devastating blow to the noggin.

    Boomer: No Howard that dumb ass spoke like that before the bitch slapping I gave him.

    Howard Cosell: Oh! Well who ever arranged this fight and thought rutledge would be a good match for Boomer should be arrested, that was a slaughter.

  110. hey all!
    MM is back… mandy moore? who knows who it could be? not i.
    you call that a *comeback*?
    wipe the jizz off your back when i pulled out and sprayed my love on you. such a clueless little troll
    wanna be. using mommie and daddie
    on a post trying to burn me back.

    pretty original queerbag…
    just another freudian slip. the first one was talking about my *wife*. but, if im gay how can i married? oh now i get you wanted me to marry you. you thought i would make ALL your dreams come true.

    i bet you do your best to emulate tom cruise. another twisted religious wacko stuck DEEP in that dark closet. so crapping all over my feet turns you on eh? into the
    scat porn? oh you even starred in a couple of underground movies.
    DAMN! that was you i saw last night. the DVD title was “boi eats
    corn off of the chocolate log” you were great in it. an oscar performance if there ever was one.

    you are the kind of useless faggot
    that is going to end up in a closet on a chair,with a rope around your neck, and a hand around your excuse for a penis. photos from gay mens magazine stapled on the walls. you are into
    auto-erotic-asphixiation. as you are stroking *it* you feel that familiar rush coming on. your body starts to tense up, your body starts shaking. you can feel your face turning red from the lack of oxygen,but you keep stroking! oh no! suddenly one of your legs has a muscle spasm and you kick the chair out from under you. DAMN! as
    you hang there dying from lack of air you have the BEST orgasm of your life. your seed spills all over your hand and down your leg.
    tsk tsk tsk…
    5 days later when your roomate smells your maggot infested corpse, the coroner arrives to bag you up and take you away. the autopsy ensues. the surprised look on the coroners face makes me smile. oh yah, i paid to watch this show. condom after condom, all filled with jizz,
    are removed from your stomach, upper and lower intestines. “damn he says, this was one busy homo”.
    i say, “he’s not done yet”
    i give him an enticing wink. ‘doc’
    starts to sew you back up. “no way”
    i told him. i was gonna do this *cannibal* style. i put one hand on each shoulder and start to pound
    your open chest cavity. blood clots, pieces of flesh and maggots
    get churned up in the mix and some of it sprays on the wall. i’m pumping for all im worth.”get that nut, get that nut”, i chant to myself. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i do it ’til
    i cant take it anymore. ive pierced
    your lungs and heart, and thats where im gonna deposit my seed.
    ive fulfilled your final fantasy.
    i just impregnated you. hope your happy up in *heaven*

    i’m sure you got some lame ass comeback all lined up for me. say anything you want big man. no matter what you do, you wont be able to jack away this story from your mind


    btw do you have a wife? all signs point to no

    absolutely pathetic.

  111. Shitfoot,

    You’re hired! Have your agent contact my agent. We’ll do lunch and iron out the details.


    P.S. By “do lunch”, I mean “eat lunch”, not have sex with it.

    P.P.S. There’s no double-meaning to the word “eat” either. Plain old nonsexual business lunch.

  112. vern has a new handle…bonemaster

  113. Hey there Manly_Man. Here is my happy comment. Come out of your fantasy island. I was just throwin darts and i got two points, you are straight and you did get a chain mail letter. LAFF
    Too bad they dont offer refunds for the order by Mail letter. You thought it was male order. But i guess you bought yourself a good trophy to lock up in the basement (me), one that you can dress up like a sissy girl and show off to whoever you need to believe the lies, then lock up when you gotta go take a pee. How is your Mamma? She’s healthy I hope. Oh wait, i gotta buy a copy of Tiger Beat.
    I do enjoy the stories you post though. Not only do you like to screw hawt broads, you like em wet and oiled while you are putting it to them. Nice.
    Good luck with the lube.
    Molly Mormon

  114. nice edit job on my previous post there peasant. did he call you crying in the night asking you to take care of his battles. he couldnt take it anymore. i appreciate the way you protected your homo boy from further beatings. My original hopes were for him to take his junk elsewhere. Your site is very cool, but S_F is basically undermining the intent of your blog. thank you kind sir!
    Miss Manners

  115. i disagree with you about the ‘undermining of blog’ there MM. see, most people are extrememly lazy and barely skim blog posts. the vast majority of readers never even bother with comments. because of that i don’t mind allowing you freaks to engage in trolling flame wars etc. since nobody’s gonna read them anyway.

    also i am comfortable with allowing anyone to come in here and say just about anything they please. readers got opinions and whatever they may be you can spout off here without being nuked off the map. but, that last comment of yours went a little too far… too much of a mean spirited personal attack on the guy and it was entirely unnecessary. perhaps you should consider that for a moment.

    shitf00t didn’t complain or anything. when i read your post it actually made me feel kinda bad…

  116. Well, I think this is all wrapping up. I keep checking that phony e-mail address I set up and there’s usually nothing there. I’ve had the occasional photoshopped picture of Brittney Spears sticking a dildo up Kevin Federline’s ass, from whom I don’t know, more photoshopped pictures of Spears/Federline/Tom Cruise nude mud wrestling with pig feces in lieu of mud. I had a slightly better guess of who sent that one. Not pointing fingers or anything. And a third, not really a picture itself, but rather a link to one,, showing Federline and Cruise going at it with female sex organs along with some kind of counter and “Round, round, get around” music that I know I’ve heard, but can’t place. I have no guess as to who sent me that link, but I know it wasn’t Tony because it was sent while he was en route to a DJ competition. I imagine those are photoshopped too. If not, screw commenting on this blog. I have a meeting with “Star” magazine. Caribbean, here I come.

    I set the entire e-mail account for Tony to prove his celebrity dealings. He’d like everyone to believe he doesn’t care, but most of us know better. Cruise and Spears would count as famous people, Federline doubtful, but since they’re photoshopped and probably not from him, they’re not really germaine to proving he knows anybody.

    The only photo he definitely sent was of three people nude sunbathing together: Eric Estrada, Joe Piscopo, and someone not only not famous, but also rather unfortunate looking. He looked sort of Guatamalen and was wearing some rap radio station hat.

    One has to assume that one of the three people is Tony, since the key is to get a picture of him with celebrities to prove he knows them Anyone can get a picture of a celebrity WITHOUT them in it. That proves nothing. I myself have a 4′ by 6′ photo of Hillary Duff taped to the ceiling above my bed, but that doesn’t mean I know her. It just means that she has a restraining order against me.

    Anyway, long ago, it was very important to Tony that he “win” the beatdown contest. He was going to do this by sending pictures of himself posing with celebrities. This would thus make him a “winner”. By converse logic, it seems that if he can’t, he’s a LOOOOSSSSEEEERRRR.
    The picture came without any indication of which of the three Tony is, but I intend to prove mathematically that regardless of which of the three he is, he has to be a loser.

    For the sake of this mathematical proof, let’s assume that, of all of Tony’s photos, this photo shows him with the most famous person he knows. In other words, if he had a picture of him with Eric Estrada and a picture of him with Tom Cruise, and he wanted to impress everyone, he’s send the Cruise picture instead of the Estrada picture. If he didn’t, he’s a loser, so we can stop there.

    Okay, scenario one. Tony is Eric Estrada. The most famous person he knows is Joe Piscopo. Twenty years ago, Joe Piscopo was “in da club”, but he no longer can be even counted as a 3rd rate celebrity. Also, Estrada gone from Chips to commenting on blogs read by 20 people. Verdict: Tony is a loser.

    Scenario two: Tony is Joe Piscopo. Very similar to Scenario one. Estrada is now doing Spanish soap operas and doesn’t know Spanish. Again, does not count as a celebrity. Also, Piscopo/Tony has gone from being neck and neck with Eddie Murphy in terms of career to commenting on random blogs. Verdict: Tony is a loser.

    Scenario three: Tony is the Guatamalen looking guy. He’s so desperate to be in a picture with famous people that he’s willing to be photographed nude sunbathing with them. Also, if Vernon D. is correct, that third guy is actually Dangerous D. Verdict: Tony is a loser even if he regularly hangs with Snoop Dogg.

    There you have it. Tony’s a loser. QED.

  117. You know,

    I had a really cool finale all set up, one that I had thought up a while ago, but never had the chance to publish, mostly because whenever Boomer left the comment section, Tony lost interest and left too. Still, it would have been great and I started typing it now, but then stopped since it didn’t seem as good anymore. The basic gist was that I checked my e-mail account one last time and hit the jackpot and that Tony had sent me a picture of himself getting sodomized by about a dozen A-list gangster rappers, which proved that he indeed knew all sorts of famous, influential people and we all owed him an apology for doubting him. I’m quite proud of the idea and I think it would have been a hit since it was before all the homosexual-oriented beatdowns, but I didn’t strike while the iron was hot and now massive gay orgies just don’t seem like fresh material anymore and actually seem tame now compared to male on male necrophelia. Bummer.

    This was all fun while it lasted, but I fear that this particular flame war has about run its course. Never did figure out who the hell Tony was. Basically, I think this war has “gayed” out. Shitfoot, if you can think up any more gay insults, I’ll be impressed. Or, you can go the Bonemaster root and recycle the material for a much wider, higher paying audience.



    P.S. My apologies to Eric Estrada, Britney Spears, Joe Piscopo, and Kevin Federline for involving them unnecessarily in my last comment. I’m sure they’re all nice people and not gay in the slightest. No apologies to Tom Cruise since he is gay and he’s a complete dick.

  118. bill-its over let it go.You sound like a little kid who cant get over the fact that he can’t get that special toy that he keeps whinning to mom about.Toni and his clubbers are gone-reread his final post.

  119. anon
    you were wrong. think about it. dummy

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