Halfshirt And Miss Disney

At Bill and Dave’s company there are far too many chiefs and not enough Indians. My department has a bloated pool of supervisors vainly trying to run this madhouse. Making things even worse is the fact that we have even more supervisors running the New Product Introduction (NPI) group which oversees Mini-Rel testing. I’ve been attached to the NPI group operations so my immediate bosses are the people in the environmental lab and chamber area. But, from time to time I still have to deal with idiots like Hee Haw and Backstabber on the instrument lines. Things get kind of over complicated thanks to the area being structured like this.

Just over the cubicle wall from where I sit are two NPI supervisors Halfshirt and Miss Disney. Both of them bring a whole different set of personality weirdness and management style to this joint. They are responsible for taking new instrument designs out of our R&D laboratory and handing off prototypes to instrument production lines. Before those proto boxes go into full scale production we spend months worth of time beating the shit out of new instruments here in the chamber area trying to find design flaws and such.

Halfshirt is in his early fifties I guess. He’s got a slight beer gut and gray hair, with a moustache that reminds me of Homer Simpson’s lame neighbor. I forget that character’s name right now. Anyway, some time ago Shoelaces made the observation that this guy always wears T-shirts that are too small for him. They’re either real old and shrunk because of too many times being run through the wash or the guy buys them a size too small brand new. We don’t know and care very little as to why his shirts don’t fit. The main thing is, this manager looks entirely retarded dressed like that. Every day when we see him the shirt he is wearing barely hangs down to his belt. If he shifts his weight slightly his shirt creeps up and everyone gets en eye full of his belly. Shoelaces started calling him Halfshirt and the nickname stuck. I call him Halfshirt all the time now, it’s become so automatic that on occasion I have very nearly called this manager Halfshirt to his face. I have to be careful about that.

One of the personality quirks that I find particularly annoying about Halfshirt is his laugh. It’s fast like a machine gun while also sounding slightly nervous. His common practice when approaching employees out on the shop floor is to walk up to where you’re sitting, put his hand on your shoulder and say something like, “Heh heh heh heh heh. Well there so and so you’re going to be my bitch today aren’t you? Heh heh heh heh heh heh.” I can’t say I hate the guy as much as I think of him as a simple moron. Someone who probably uses a gas engine mower to cut his lawn and runs over his sprinkler heads with it effectively breaking them off. He’s that kind of a jerk.

Miss Disney on the other hand is annoying because she’s an overgrown girly-girl. She’s also got to be in her fifties by now. Women who go out of their way to be extra cutesy with me bug the shit out of me especially when they’re in the older generation. It’s so unattractive and unnecessary. I don’t know I guess the reaction I have to women like her is similar to a brat running his or her fingernails across a chalkboard. So I try to keep a low profile with Miss Disney. Oh and don’t get me wrong here, she’s a nice enough person and all. She hasn’t gone out of her way to be an ass or anything. I just don’t like being around her because of the way she carries herself and because all she talks about is her stock shares in Disney or candles. Outside of work she has a side business selling heavily scented candles though a pyramid scheme setup like Amway or something.

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~ by factorypeasant on July 13, 2006.

9 Responses to “Halfshirt And Miss Disney”

  1. half-shirt looks like ned flanders on teh simpsons. i still wanna punch half shirt in teh nutz. i wanna treat(beat) him like toni,,,

    $h|t_f0ot

  2. yeah! that was the guy i was thinking of. just think of ned with a gray moustache and hair wearing a shirt two sizes too small and you’ve pretty much got the guy. halfshirt really was a dumb ass.

  3. 1/2 Shirt, ahhh I remember him now,
    he was a TOUCHER….

  4. id like to TOUCH you…

  5. mmmmm TOUCHING. i hope we’re talking about the inappropriate nasty no-no kind of touching…

  6. That guy sounds camp as a row of tents. Where I live in Sydney, (darlinghurst, could be similar to san-fran) you see that kinda thing all the time. Old queens who just won’t degrade gracefully..
    Kinda sad really

  7. nascent- same thing in SF…

  8. What???

  9. huh?

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