Founding A Clan


The six of us have started kicking around ideas for what to call our Urban Terror team as well as deciding on player nicknames. Dave has chosen Baal, which I guess is some sort of reference to the Devil or a demon. The oldest guy in our group has taken the nick Dalor which he says is a Greek word that means “fierce.” The OCLI guys are Jackslap, Senor Biskits, and Butcherbird. Biskits got his nickname in high school. Butcherbird is a reference to a nickname given a German fighter aircraft during WWII. I forget which one. I have no idea why Mike wants to be known online as Jackslap. I didn’t bother to ask him about it.

Mean is the name I’ve chosen to be known as. Back in high school I used to hang out with a crowd of deathrockers and punks. At parties I used to fuck pretty hard with drunks that had passed out and forgot to take their shoes off before heading into inebriated slumberland. It’s an unwritten rule at shindigs that if you’re gonna pass out you have to take off your shoes before going unconscious. If you don’t, you are fair game to mess with.

Placing matches between a passed out drunk’s fingers I’d light them up and watch with a smirk on my face as the victim would subconsciously feel the pain from being burned and flail about putting their fiery hands out on themselves. Other times I’d scour the party host’s house for random items and turn the drunk into a piece of living art. Some of them were truly epic and a number of photographs were taken. I’ll never forget one particular chump I set up. I went over to this girl’s house, I was dating her for a short period of time and she had a gig at her place one night. A guy that was obnoxious to everyone had conked out on the couch and he had neglected to remove his footwear. After slapping him around a bit to make sure he was duly wrecked I proceeded to put a doctor’s headband with reflector on it on his noggin, tucked a full celery stalk behind each ear which looked like insect antennae, added a construction worker’s helmet for extra weirdness, covered his chin in shaving cream and cigarette butts, and handed him a waxed cucumber. He was stylin’.

God damn I wish I had some of those photos in my collection these days. Unfortunately I never was given any pics of my work. One of my favorite things was to light cigarettes and place one in each nostril of the drunk person’s nose. Watching with delight as cherries glowed I laughed at every inhale. Some partygoers said I was a mean person for doing shit like that and soon afterward some of my close friends started calling me Mean. So that’s who I will be known as online. Might as well go with it.

We’ve been brainstorming names for the clan. Here’s the list so far:
BWB- Big Work Boot (thanks for the idea Castro)
fT- Fake Tits
CCC- Concealed Carry Clan
999- (this is a reference to a lost connection resulting in a server ping of 999)
DSD- Drug Sniffing Dogs
.223- caliber of the M16/AR15 series rifle
WRA- Winona Ryder’s Army
LWG- Losers With Guns

It’s still up for debate and a popular vote on which name to take.

Online I usually play as a ski-masked thug. My preferred weapon loadout is the M4 Carbine with a H&K UMP.45. Backup sidearm is a 9mm Beretta and just for causing extra trouble I bring along two high explosive grenades. Those are good for jump-tossing onto the roofs of three story buildings and blowing up careless snipers. Heh.

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~ by factorypeasant on June 5, 2006.

3 Responses to “Founding A Clan”

  1. ggs f4990t

  2. Are you by chance one of the careless snipers? I think so.

  3. shitf00t was a careless hk69 sniper… teh unwin!

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