Greasy Guy

The elusive source of our chamber area’s mysterious grease coated windows has been revealed.

Thursday night I was sitting in front of a Spectral station trying to troubleshoot a problem. One of the units under test kept failing a few data points that normally don’t give us any trouble. Those failures were probably bogus, but I couldn’t find anything wrong. Everything looked okay with cable hookups and the test code. Nobody in engineering had made any software edits earlier in the day. Becoming frustrated with the situation and realizing I was getting nowhere fast I pushed backwards with my feet against the test rack while sitting in my chair. Rolling away from a frustrating mess I glanced over at another one of the chambers. The observation window on that chamber had a larger than usual nasty grease print. It looked very strange.

Walking over to the chamber door I stood there and stared at a huge filmy grey swirl pasted into the middle of the glass. It reminded me of a weather radar graphic that appeared to be an eye of a hurricane. A vortex swirled outward from the center where grease became thicker and spread outward into a spiral of milky colored fingers. Frowning at the filthy window I wondered what in the fuck could have caused this.

Tiny had been working with this chamber when I started my shift that day. I remembered something. Instead of turning on the chamber interior lights from its control panel and looking through the observation window like a normal human being, Tiny has a habit of head-butting the glass to see what’s going on inside. His hair is shaved down to almost nothing and he’s got a bald spot at the very top of his noggin. That greasy spiral on the window surface must have been caused by Tiny’s stubble and the vortex in the center of it was created by Tiny’s bald spot. Mystery solved! I should have known. That guy is covered from head to toe in shiny oil that excretes from every pore in his body. He’s a biological grease generator. Tiny reminds me of Pig Pen. You know, Pig Pen is a character in Charles Schulz Peanuts comic strip that always walks around in a cloud of his own dust and dirt. Personal hygiene is not one of Tiny’s priorities.

I hereby decree that from now on Tiny shall be known as Greasy Guy.

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~ by factorypeasant on May 27, 2006.

One Response to “Greasy Guy”

  1. aka “crisca” the clown:
    takin it like a she-male daily

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