Who Is Lloyd?

Barney sure didn’t waste any time stirring up shit and getting himself into trouble over on the Spectrum Analyzer line. I heard he’s in plenty of hot water right now for a couple of things. A coworker left their email account up on a machine and became distracted with another project. The person stepped away for a little while. When that employee came back they discovered Barney had hopped onto their PC and was reading every last one of their emails. It’s a careless thing to do, leave your account up and open for just anybody to sneak a peek at so I don’t have a whole bunch of sympathy for that person. Me, I’m kinda paranoid about stuff like that happening in here at work so I always close out the program and kill the browser just to be on the safe side. Anyway that employee complained to management about Barney’s snooping. The other thing Barney did is sexually harass a female employee, I don’t know the details. She is apparently going through Human Resources department with an official complaint. Now that is a big deal. Rummaging through a fellow employee’s email account is petty but that plus a sexual harassment complaint really isn’t going to do Barney any good.

Of course Barney never should have been hired here in the first place. None of this would be happening. And he should have been fired by now. But, that’s not the way we do things around here at Bill and Dave’s company. We let problem employees run loose, wild, and free because our company is so completely terrified of lawsuits. So the rest of us get to hang out with freaks like Barney and deal with their bullshit for years. It’s swell.

I saw Barney in the hallway yesterday afternoon. We crossed each other’s paths in Building 2. I was heading over to parts stores in Building 3 and Barney was walking towards me in the opposite direction. Nobody else was around so I figured I’d give him some shit. It had been a few weeks since I last saw him. As we approached each other I loudly yelled out, “Baaaaaarney how’s it goin’?”
He flipped his lid.
Shouting at me with an angry expression on his face he said, “MY NAME NOT BARNEY! MY NAME IS LLOYD NOW!”

Holy shit.

I didn’t know how to react to that outburst so I stood still and kept my yap shut while watching him walk away. He cast his gaze at his feet and scurried down the hallway towards the Spectrum Analyzer line practically hugging the wall as he did so. Bugnutty. Lloyd isn’t his real name, neither is Barney. Nobody knows for sure who he really is. Actually, I bet someone in Payroll or maybe somebody in Human Resources knows what his real name is. Totally weird scene.

Next time I see Barney in the hallway I think I’ll keep my mouth shut and just keep on truckin’.

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~ by factorypeasant on April 11, 2006.

3 Responses to “Who Is Lloyd?”

  1. A chump by any other name…

  2. name NOT barney, name is rroyd!!!!!!

    Hai-ya!

  3. you know, the extra weird bit here was i didn’t even have the chance to really mess with him. he went wack-o instantly.

    even after all this time nobody still knows who he was. some of the technicians that went to the junior college with him also had some strange problems with that guy in their classes. total freak.

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