Dangerous D

After Barney, Louie, and Abu were removed from Area 51 we eventually received a new hire as a replacement technician for Barney’s spot. It took a while, I don’t remember how long. Maybe it was a few months. Louie and Abu’s jobs remained vacant in the meantime. We were told the new guy was from Kansas, and our interviewing team hired him right after he graduated from a technical electronics school. That sounded pretty good. He showed up for his first day of work this week. As soon as I saw the little fellow hobbling across our shop floor I knew something went very, very wrong during his interview process. Whoever was responsible for allowing this to happen should be punched. Lots.

Our new technician is Dangerous D. He’s deformed. Physically and mentally. I don’t know if he smoked some Polio or ate some Muscular Dystrophy or what the fuck. But this tiny guy is seriously wrecked, man. Dangerous D wobbled into the area on his first day at work like a corroded shopping cart with only three wheels. He had a wide grin on his face that allowed a modicum of slobber to glisten from his lips. Obviously enthusiastic about his new job he announced, “HEeeeLLLoooow!” to everyone and from that moment on I assumed the worst was about to happen. Realizing we were in trouble yet again, I cringed in my chair. I don’t understand how this keeps happening around here. Really it’s mind numbingly stupid. Out of all the qualified people available to hire nationwide we consistently locate and recruit the mutants.

7X is the smaller RF Signal Generator instrument we work on here in Area 51, and Ed is one of a handful of technicians left that really knows the product inside and out. Ed has been working 7X for so long that he started to burn out on it. Wanting a change of pace Ed cut a deal with the bosses to transition into working on some newer instrument platforms. Unfortunately, that meant before Ed could move on to bigger and better things he had to stick around long enough to train his replacement. Everyone Ed has been given to train up on 7X since last year has been a total loser like Barney. It’s been frustrating for him to deal with employees who aren’t able to actually do the work. Now Ed is coming back to train Dangerous D on the 7X stuff and I have a bad feeling his new apprentice ain’t gonna get with it.

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~ by factorypeasant on March 18, 2006.

2 Responses to “Dangerous D”

  1. hehehehehehe

    let the beatings begin!!!!!

    eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh, ummmmmmmmmmm,
    unfffffffffffff, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkk

  2. Dangerous D is a byproduct of Miz Patty Green. The Queen of warm and fuzzy. I think they hired him based purley on a phone interview. She was all into diversity and crap. Thats all well and good. BP was a good example of that can work but Dangerous D is an example of how that can go disastrously wrong. This guy should never have left Kansas.

    JP

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