Google Searches Part Two

Apparently the production material handler “Meatloaf” (Factory Peasant calls her The Troll) saw that pop up ad and instead of closing it she put on her snorkel and when brown-nosing to The Beard. Great. This human butt plug had just ruined an entire shift worth of work and I would have to make it up myself. I then looked into the production area and there was The Beard congregating all of his people from both shifts. He was interrogating them trying to find out who is doing “Google Searches” and they all look perplexed of course because it was me, but he has no control over me. I almost felt sorry for those poor bastards in his area. Since no one knew what the hell The Beard was talking about he began to get really frustrated, and since no one would confess he was going to show them what he was talking about by giving them a demonstration of what not to do.

Hearing this I hurry back to the Turn On 2 station, kill the pop up, go to the explorer properties section and remove his proxy (without a proxy it would be impossible for The Beard to get outside of the company’s firewall without it), and I take a seat nearby. I pretended to be busy all the while waiting for The Beard to embarrass himself. The Beard gets to the Turn On 2 station with his production line in tow and says “Hey what happened to that pop up?” to no one in particular and continues, “Well no matter. I can still show you people what not to do.” He proceeds to open the internet explorer. Up comes the explorer window displaying our company’s local website, inside the firewall, and The Beard announces to everyone “This is our website it’s local. You are allowed to search company websites, but you are not allowed to do this… now watch closely.”

The Beard begins to type in www google com mouthing the letters as he goes (geez what mouth-breather). He then hits enter with such great anticipation, after all he was going to school his children on what not to do, but to his surprise explorer displays a DNS error “unable to connect to server.” The Beard cries out “HEY WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” then hits reload several times each time crying “HEY.” Seeing The Beard having a problem I start to giggle a little on the inside and I decide to press the issue a little more so I walk over and ask “What’s wrong Beard?”
The Beard replies, “I can’t get to Google from this PC.”
In my smart ass way I say to him, “You are not supposed to go outside the firewall with test station computers. Don’t you remember? Viruses you know.”
The Beard is pissed now and he fires back “I know that! I am just trying to show them something!”
The Beard did not want to deal with me so he just turns frustrated back to his group and says, “Don’t surf the web on test station PCs!” and walks off.

By this time I cannot hold it in any longer and as soon as he is far enough away I let a nice and hardy belly laugh out. Got you dummy, and you deserve it. Simple thing like that is all I needed to feel good for about a month and of course I had to tell all my friends who had been subjected to that pea-brain supervisor. I made him look like a fool in front of “his people” and the funniest thing is he did most of the work. From that time on I called him “Google Searches” or “Baby Goo Goo Google Searches” and I even drew a picture of a cartoon baby with a beard shouting out “Goo Goo Google Searches” that I displayed in a few spots in the production area.

From time to time I still mess with the guy a little, especially when he was demoted to Individual Contributor status (a manager with no people assigned to him), but nothing was ever as gratifying as the infamous Google Searches episode.


~ by factorypeasant on February 26, 2006.

3 Responses to “Google Searches Part Two”

  1. I remember coming into work for swingshift very very clearly this day.

    The Troll had pegged me for doing this immediately, and let a bunch of people know so. By the time I got to work, it was all over thanks to you, and I just got a few comments from Troll and her lackey’s.

  2. Paul I hope you didn’t catch too much grief over this it should have been a non-issue. I don’t understand why loafie even brought the beard into it and even if he did see it he should not have made a big production out of it. Unfortunately one of the good assymblers got a lot of flack for internet surfing after this episode.

  3. *replies to a 6 month old post*

    hahaha, oh my god, I remember this so well. The Beard was freaked out about google forever over this and eventually a good assembler lost his job over the fall out.

    The funny thing is, the POS test executive crashed those PC more often than anyting else …

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