Company Breakup

Everyone here is in total disbelief right now. Employees are walking around the buildings like they’ve been stunned with a cattle prod. Our CEO whom I nicknamed Turtlehead (because he looks like a cross between a sea tortoise and Alan Greenspan) made a special announcement company wide via satellite today. The corporate board has decided to break Bill and Dave’s into two separate companies. Bill and Dave’s name will stay with our computer division while the actual core of the company, test and measurement instruments, will be renamed. Talk about adding insult to injury. Assholes. So we’re going to get a new name. I can hardly wait to see how that is going to turn out. I’m certain it’s going to be completely stupid.

I’ve never liked our computer division or their shoddy products. Now I really fucking hate them. They’re taking the company name and kicking us to the curb.

Turtlehead whined for a long while during his announcement speech about how Bill and Dave’s company has grown too big for the corporate management team to handle anymore. By breaking up the company along our two biggest business divisions they claim each division will be much more nimble and easier to manage. Nobody here is buying that bullshit. At least nobody I’ve talked to so far anyway. What Turtlehead is really admitting, is that his leadership as CEO is totally lacking. He has no creative vision, little if any real ability to run this company effectively. He’s also made it painfully clear that our corporate board can’t manage their way out of a wet paper bag.

Worldwide we have slightly over 120,000 employees. We are a diverse high-technology company, but we are not as diverse a company as let’s say, General Electric. GE has many different kinds of businesses under their corporate umbrella and their management staff seems to be able to handle things well enough. Guess they have somewhat more competent managers working for them than we do.

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~ by factorypeasant on February 17, 2006.

6 Responses to “Company Breakup”

  1. YE GODS! I missed my bus and could not make it into work today so I did not hear the annoucement. I think Bill Sullivan might be more evil than Ned. Maybe. Ned did invent Malaysia

  2. Oh Wait! I am a dumb ass! This is a story! I will shut up now

  3. no worries. i feel real bad for the rest of you still stuck in there… real bad.

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  4. 5 years later and we know how it all turned out.

    I think it officially started with “I don’t forsee the Malaysia transfer affecting any jobs here in Sonoma County.”

    You didn’t foresee it cause your a dumbass DD. We all walked out of that coffee talk going “ohhh shit”, we knew.

  5. they knew what they were doing from the very beginning Paul. it was part of a deliberate business plan. there is no way corporate could have been honest about it because many employees would have simply quit to go work elsewhere. we were only useful until duplicate instrument lines were up and running in Penang.

    now they’re doing the same thing to the Malay. they will only be useful until new duplicate product lines are up and running in China.

  6. Yeah, we got lucky and got paid some good loot to go.
    I was so totally frustrated at the end I woulda walked soon for free!!!!

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