Master Of Mongloids

When you’ve been working at a job for a long while you just can’t help but notice your coworker’s little habits and quirks. Those unique traits can be anything from the way a person organizes papers on their desk to a loud annoying chronic cough to the way they greet you every day when you come in to work. Everybody is different, everybody has their own routine they follow.

Each day Barney gets a phone call from home. Area 51’s phone is on TC’s tech bench so most of the time when a call comes in he gets it. Sometimes he’s half way across the test area so I’ll jump up and grab it. The persons asking for Barney sound like they are handicapped. TC and I suspect Barney is involved in running a kind of halfway house for retarded folks. That’s cool, not my bag but whatever. The thing that’s weird about it is when these guys call up asking for Barney we get to suffer through his half of the long, drawn out conversations. Sounds like Barney has some fairly strict rules at his place. Nobody can use the TV or stereo unless they call him at work and ask his permission first. He only has to say yes or no and the call should be over. That isn’t the way Barney operates. Barney drags such a simple request on for a while like he’s trying to impress all of us at work obviously because he needs to feel important. Barney is merely the king of the idiots. The master of mongloids.

I feel bad for the poor bastards that got stuck renting a room from him.

Barney really is a messed up guy. He’s one of those people from the moment you first meet him you just know something is very wrong with him. His social skills are nonexistent, and he’s plain obnoxious to be around. That’s why he gets picked on all the time by TC, myself, and Shoelaces. TC beats Barney down daily. You’d think Barney would have learned to keep his mouth shut by now, but no. He’s like a Timex, takes a beating and keeps on ticking coming back for more. I throw myself into the beat down mix sporadically. Shoelaces has taken up the habit of playing practical jokes on Barney throughout the week. It’s swell.

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~ by factorypeasant on February 12, 2006.

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