Hallway Locker Dining

I was talking with Tet earlier in the shift today. Seems like almost everybody in the department working swing shift is noticing oddball things about Germ Freak. It’s the latest hot gossip across the shop floor. Tet mentioned he’s been watching Germ Freak covertly sipping bottled water while he’s hunched down low in front of his open locker out in the main hallway. From the way Tet describes it, Germ Freak squats down to the floor and opens his locker door about three-quarters of the way. He looks down the hallway to see if anyone is around and then he sneaks a few quick drinks off his water bottle. Does the same thing with food too, like if he has a sandwich he will make sure the coast is clear and then take a stealth bite of his food. Tet wanted to fuck with the guy a little, so once or twice he said he came out of nowhere to interrupt Germ Freak’s sneaky locker cuisine. From what Tet says, Germ Freak slams the locker door shut as soon as he sees someone in the hall and acts very nervous.

What a kook.

Shitfoot joined the conversation Tet and I were having. Shitfoot told us he’s been watching Germ Freak eat Pop Tarts almost every day at his workbench. He says Germ Freak meticulously opens up the Pop Tart foil package, removes each Pop Tart with care, and then proceeds to break off all the edges. He only eats the luscious frosted centers. Shitfoot asked Germ Freak why he eats them in such a goofy manner and he responded, “Because the edges touch the packaging.”
I said, “So what the fuck about the top side that touches the foil, or the one on the bottom that’s in constant contact with the shit?”
Shitfoot shouted and pointed at me, “Exactly! I decided not to mention that because eating those Pop Tarts seems like it’s his only daily pleasure and it might ruin it for him if he thinks about it that way.”


~ by factorypeasant on January 13, 2006.

2 Responses to “Hallway Locker Dining”

  1. Sometimes people on the line would order out from a local chinese food joint and have the food delivered to the plant. We would all walk into a conference room, and there would be about 15 containers of food sitting on the table. Just find the container with what you ordered and sit down and eat. One time someone played a joke on Germ Freak. They found out what he ordered and opened up the top before he got into the conference room. When he arrived the questions started. Who opened my food? Why did someone open my food? He finally left with it but I’m pretty sure he dumped it in the garbage. Was it shitfoot? Possibly. It was funny though.

  2. that guy had so many buttons to press it was hard to resist fucking him up, wasn’t it?

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