Germ Freak’s Vacation

Things have been pretty nice in assembly minus the Germ Freak. He’s been gone for a couple of weeks on a vacation to Hawaii. I lost track of how many days he was gone. Today he returned to work bearing tourist trinkets as gifts for all of us. A nice gesture on his part I suppose, but I would have been happier if he had skipped giving me a turn picking something from his basket of goodies. Before he left to go on his trip, I joked around with Shitfoot about Germ Freak probably being one of those nitwits that won’t get on a plane unless he’s wearing a respirator. Or at the very least a HEPA dust mask.

When the Germ Freak walked over to Final Assembly he caught me up to my elbows in gutted boxes. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I sat and took the hit. I tried to feign interest in his collection of ball point pens, minature decks of playing cards, key chains, and lighters. The sooner I grabbed an item and made small talk with the guy the sooner he would be gone. As I selected a ball point pen from his pile o’ crap, I asked him how the flight went. Germ Freak said, “It was okay, but some people were making fun of me when I walked on board the plane.”
Hmmmm. I smelled stupidity on his part. “And why were they hassling you?”
“They recycle the air inside planes. Did you know that?”
“Yeah. So what?”
“I don’t want to catch a cold from somebody else so I wore a mask during the flight and some people were ridiculing me because of it.”
Man. Can I call this shit or what? I laughed in his face.
Germ Freak looked at me with a hurt expression and he said, “I’d really like it if we could be friends. Can we be friends?”
Oh brother. This was getting too sappy for me so I said, “Sure, pal. We can be friends. Thanks for the pen. Now take a hike. I’m fuckin’ working here.” I gestured around at the four or five dead Signal Generators I had on carts surrounding my chair.


~ by factorypeasant on January 10, 2006.

2 Responses to “Germ Freak’s Vacation”

  1. blunt, to the point and obvious.
    he probably still has NO clue…

  2. nah, he sure as hell doesn’t. later on in an awkward swing shift moment he cornered me somewhere in assembly with his new cell phone and practically demanded my home phone number so he could program it into his phone. i should have given him a fake number, but it turned out he never called me anyway so it worked out.

    i still think that guy is a fruitcake.

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