Front Gate Traffic Jam

This afternoon on my way to work it was hot outside and I was in a very bad mood. As I was pulling up to the front gate I saw two container trucks in the left hand entrance lane being signed in by security guards. It takes them a few minutes to sign in delivery trucks and to direct the drivers where to drop off or pick up freight. I didn’t have the patience to sit behind them idling the engine so I opted for the right hand lane which only had one employee car in it. As I moved over into the right lane, I noticed the person driving the vehicle was having a difficult time moving around in the car and seemed to be searching for something. Since I wasn’t going anywhere until the person used their proxy card to get through the gate sensors I ended up paying particular attention to the inside of that person’s ride. It was an abomination. The entire car was filled with trash all the way up to the head rests. It reminded me of what the county garbage dump looks like. There appeared to be broken pieces of furniture, shredded cardboard boxes, tons of loose papers, and other items. It was spooky, like a homeless person had been living in the vehicle.

While I sat stuck behind the nitwit a few more cars piled up in the right lane. Someone hit their horn. The person in the trashmobile ahead of me was frantically looking for something and then it dawned on me. She was trying to find her proxy card which was obviously lost in her automotive trash heap. I rolled my eyes and knew I was screwed. In the left lane, the first container truck had already moved on and the second one in line was being processed through security. Two cars behind me pulled out of the right lane and eased over towards the security shack. I did the same as soon as I could. Eventually I moved up and held my proxy card out towards the security sensor and was waved through. I looked out my passenger window to the right and saw the person responsible for our little traffic jam was the Eat Monster. I watched her in my rear view mirror as I drove down the perimeter road towards the main buildings on site and I wondered how much longer the security guys were going to let her sit there blocking the lane before they gave her a dunce badge and let her through.


~ by factorypeasant on July 18, 2005.

2 Responses to “Front Gate Traffic Jam”

  1. I anxiously await further stories about eat monster. I still tell people of how she was so incompetent…
    I dont want to steal your thunder though, and will post my stories about her once you have moved on.

  2. heh. this will be interesting to have another perspective on her. i’ll be looking forward to reading about your experiences with the Eat Monster. it will be like comparing notes on the same mutant…

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