Second Session With The Couch Potato

This afternoon I had my second counselling session. I don’t feel like I got much out of it. All I did was babble about stuff from my past that had nothing to do with Jennifer. I guess I was nervous. Couch Potato didn’t take any notes this time and near the end of the session I told her I still felt guilty about how I’ve acted towards Jennifer. I treated her like she was a damned ATM. In response, Couch Potato became irritated and she got stern with me. She said, “Put a date on when you won’t feel guilty anymore.” That was tough. Every time I think of Jennifer I feel a stab of guilt run through me. Since I was on the spot the only thing I could think of was October first. That’s the date I’m supposed to be moved out of our house. When I’m finally out of there Jennifer will be out of sight, out of mind. Hopefully. Having to share the house with her while she’s acting so cold and rude all the time is really horrible. As I feared, it’s getting worse by the day. It’s all deliberate, of course.

There was another thing we talked about today. I mentioned to Couch Potato that I had second thoughts, maybe I could somehow still save the relationship. She scowled at me and asked, “Why, if there were so many problems and differences between Jennifer and you, why would you want to keep it going? Give me a reason why you should try to stay with her.” Honest to God, I couldn’t think of a single reason.

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~ by factorypeasant on July 6, 2005.

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