Woman Problems

J2 showed up in here on swing shift tonight. It was weird seeing him after all this time. He’s still in the test area on dayshift, but since I’ve been working nights for so long now I’ve easily forgotten about all our dayshift idiots like him. I looked up from my workbench in the assembly area to see J2 walking down the hallway towards the test area in the back of the line. Something was different about the way he was walking and it struck me ass odd. He walked to a bench with a computer on it and immediately began web surfing. Supertech, Dung, and Musclehead also noticed J2 as soon as he sat down and I’m sure we all thought it was strange but nobody said anything. At least not for a few minutes after J2 settled in anyway. Then Musclehead opened his mouth.

Musclehead scooted his chair closer to where J2 was sitting and started in on him.
“What are you doing here at 11pm? You don’t work on swingshift. You can’t be here. Who do you think you are? A supervisor or something? Well, you’re not. You can’t just walk in here like you own the place and sit down like you’re a manager and start using any computer you please.” Musclehead was taunting him.
J2 mumbled some junk back at Musclehead but I couldn’t hear anything he said.
Musclehead inched in further on J2 and got even closer. He said in a condescending voice, “Oh I know why you’re here. You’ve got woman problems, don’t you? You and the woman had a fight at home. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Woman problems. Yep. It’s woman problems. Hey everybody! J2 has woman problems!” He kept pecking at J2 with the woman problems angle. An evil grin was plastered on my face. Musclehead was doing an excellent job hassling J2. None of us like the guy.

Suddenly and without warning, J2 stood up red in the face and kicked his chair backwards away from him. A fraction of a second later, Musclehead was up from his chair and heading straight for J2 with his fists clenched at his sides ready to throw down. Supertech and I saw what was about to happen, a real brawl was going to take place. I certainly wasn’t going to get in the way and neither was Supertech. Then the funniest thing happened. Dung ran up inbetween the ugly Latino lover and the dumb redneck and put his arms out like he was a scarecrow in a corn field. It was perfect timing, both J2 and Musclehead practically sandwiched the little Vietnamese technician between them. Dung yelled at both of them “Hey! No!” a bunch of times and kept his arms spread like he was crucified. Musclehead and J2 towered over Dung while glaring at each other without saying a word. I practically fell out of my chair laughing so hard at the sight of all three of them. Dung looked ridiculous hopping up and down with his arms out trying to keep these tall belligerents from doing battle with one another.

J2 turned around and left the production line. It was obvious to me that J2 was drunk. Musclehead went back to work laughing to himself. He was amused with himself and in some way felt victorious. I could hear it in his laughter. Dung stood in place where just a moment before two nitwits were going to punch the daylights out of each other. I got up and walked over to him and slapped him on the shoulder. I was still laughing and I told Dung he did a great job stopping the fight. He smiled. While I would have been more than happy to witness J2 being pummeled into the ground, Dung did the right thing. I made sure he understood that his intervention was noble. After the adrenaline faded he seemed pleased with himself.

We went back to work like nothing happened.


~ by factorypeasant on June 22, 2005.

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