Bathroom Fun?

Every division I’ve worked in here at Bill and Dave’s company has supported some form of on the job work experience for developmentally disabled or mentally handicapped people. Basically, they are kind to retards and let them perform low level tasks for us like sift through our trash bins. Please don’t confuse the genuine retards I’ve been writing about (my coworkers) with the real retards. The real retards can’t help the situation they were stuck with so I cut them some slack, as we all should.

Now then. Each division works with a local agency or group that brings in the retardeds, supervises them while they’re in the factory, and then takes them home each day. It all seems to work out well enough. We get some work done that nobody else wants to do and they get paid to do a job and learn how to deal with being around others in the workplace on a daily basis. I have observed the supervision of these souls at numerous sites and divisions over a period of years and generally found their caretakers to be top-notch. They really go out of their way to make sure these folks are looked after and stay out of harm’s way or get into trouble. Things here in SKD are a little less than desireable when it comes to looking after these people though. I’m not sure what the problem is exactly, but the retards here are not being watched in the building when they leave their work area and the result is some of them are bouncing off the walls. Literally. Must feel good to be free.

I bailed out of the production area post haste the other day because the lunch I got served up in the cafeteria did some unspeakable things to my guts. I hit the closest bathroom to my line knowing that I was about to commit a war crime in the bathroom stall I walked into. While I was waiting for the cafeteria poisoning to pass on through into the bowl below I heard the bathroom door fly open, and then I listened to some mis-stepped goofy foot noises on the floor. The door swung shut and all was still for a moment. Then the odd laughter began. On the other side of the bathroom stall I was in I could hear this loud chant like, HUR HUR HUR HURRRRR. What the fuck was that all about, I thought? Then I looked up to see one of the retarded guys was peeking through the bathroom stall door at me while I was taking a dump. We made eye contact. I was like, “Oh good christ”. He stood there and laughed even louder after I spotted him. I guess being in the bathroom and watching someone poo is pretty funny. Maybe I’ll have to try that myself sometime.


~ by factorypeasant on January 31, 2005.

2 Responses to “Bathroom Fun?”

  1. This guy did the same damn thing to me. I screamed at him to get the F outta here. I never saw a mental case run so damn fast.
    There was also a retread that sorted screws there that could tell you what day of the week you were born on just by knowing your birthdate. Pretty damn amazing.

  2. There was one of these dudes at the RP site I dubbed the trou dropper. He would come into the bathroom stand in front of the urinal and drop his pants and underwear to his ankles and begin to pea. If this wasn’t silly enough this dude didn’t know proper urinal etiquette. I was once using the urinal next to him and when he was done he thought he would strike up a conversation with me his face couldn’t have been more than a couple of inches from mine and it made me a little uncomfortable.

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