Flo Has Bad Breath

I’m in the first phase of my training in the Closed Area these days and the woman they have assigned to me as my mentor is named Flo. She’s an older woman who was widowed a few years ago. Her husband was a cop and he died from Cancer. Flo has been trying to sue the police department he worked for ever since her husband died. She’s convinced that the radar guns he was using to catch speeders somehow gave her husband the Cancer. I’ve heard the story about it in the last few days like fifty fucking times. It’s getting old fast. Flo rambles on and on at me with a slight southern drawl. I think it’s Okie but I’m not sure really. When she speaks to me I keep daydreaming that she lives in a shabby old house with overturned cars in the front of it and gutted rusty appliances are strewn everywhere on the ground.

My clearance hasn’t come through yet so the deal they have worked out with security is that I can be in the Closed Area with my trainer but she has to be shoulder to shoulder with me at the workbench. It’s a little too close for my comfort if you catch my drift. And here’s the worst part about it. Flo is constantly flapping her jaws the whole time I’m working with her and she has got to have the worst breath I’ve ever been hit with. Smells like a mouse crawled inside her mouth and fucking died in there. I’m not exaggerating one bit either. It’s foul, and there’s nothing I can do about it. One or two of the other people in here warned me about Flo’s halitosis from hell. Sounds to me like it has been brought to Flo’s attention that she reeks, but she hasn’t done anything about it. Maybe she never brushes her teeth. Maybe she eats poo for dinner every night when she gets home from work. Smells like it anyway. This sucks working so close to her every damned day. Can’t wait to get it overwith.

Flo has a testy, short temper too. If I don’t catch on right away to what she’s trying to learn me up on she gets all irritable and shit. Part of the problem is she knows what she’s working on but she isn’t very good at communicating it to anyone else. When I ask questions some of the time she gets all bent out of shape about it like I’m stupid or something. All I can say is as soon as that clearance comes through from the DoD I am going to settle in somewhere in this room as far away as possible from Flo and her garbage dump mouth.

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~ by factorypeasant on November 13, 2004.

One Response to “Flo Has Bad Breath”

  1. Hey, take her a box of Altoids for showing you the ropes.

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