The FSO Is A Punk

John, the Facility Security Officer found me in the hallway toiling away at my exiled workbench. I turned in my completed security clearance forms two days ago and he shoved them back in my face and told me to fill them out properly. He was sarcastic about it and said I had better learn to read forms properly, or maybe I simply needed to learn to read. Then he did an about face and abruptly walked down the hallway to go hassle another employee about something.

I spent alot of time filling out everything on these forms. John scratched out stuff on every page with a red pen just like a fussy high school English teacher would have done. One of the main things he didn’t like was the way I filled out date information. Apparently on Governement forms they want the four digit year first, then the month and day. I didn’t pay any attention to that and filled them out like any empty-headed civilian would with the month, day, and then the year. Well he sure didn’t dig it at all. As far as I’m concerned all the information is there and it’s correct so what’s the big deal? I spent a half hour just rewriting all of the dates in and believe me there were a ton of them. They want to know every place I’ve ever lived at practically and I have to put in the date I started living there, the exact date I moved out, and the names of my neighbors who could prove I was there. It also required information about every school I’ve attended, fellow students or teachers who knew me there and when I first met them. I had to fill in hire dates at all the jobs I’ve had for the past ten years and when I quit, and names of people who were co-workers. Then there’s a whole section on friends who can vouch for me and how long I’ve known them. It’s insane. I tried to be as precise as I could but to be honest I had to make some of the shit up. There was no way I could remember or find out by some other means everything they wanted on the paperwork.

On a couple of occassions I’ve had to go up to John’s office to ask him a question to clarify what something is on the forms. He’s usually busy with someone else every time I go to see him in his closet sized security empire and he won’t even acknowledge I’m there. If he’s yapping away for a half hour with another employee about the weather or something he’ll just ignore me until he feels like getting around to me. One time I got pissed off and butted into his useless conversation with another guy so I could take care of my business and get back to work. John just looked up at me and said, “I don’t remember anyone talking to you.” Fucker. This guy is really starting to annoy me.

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~ by factorypeasant on November 7, 2004.

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