Regular Customers

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Petrini’s has the most regular customers. That’s what Senor 23 tells me anyway.

Mr. Temper Tantrum likes to drink coffee every morning. He gets his coffee by the booth in the front of the store like clockwork. Booth coffee is made before the store opens each morning by the ladies in the bakery. They only have three flavors plus a decaf there and Mr. Temper Tanrum only drinks one of them, apparently. To be honest I’ve never noticed but Senor 23 assures me Mr. Temper Tantrum likes just one. I got to thinking about it and I did notice Mr. Temper Tantrum never comes back to the produce section of the warehouse to drink our night crew coffee. Rick makes gallons of it in a big chrome restaurant coffee boiler thing every night. All the employees get their coffee from it- except for Mr. Temper Tantrum.

Coffee at the booth on the front end of the store is a complimentary perk for our early morning customers. Maybe Mr. Temper Tantrum chooses to drink that stuff instead of Rick’s brew because we’ve poisoned it or something? Well, Senor 23 has been spiking the booth coffee that Mr. Temper Tantrum drinks each morning with flavorful, chocolate Ex-Lax. He’s been heavy handed on the doses in the hopes of making Mr. Temper Tantrum get the shits. Fuckin’ screwball. He knows that in the process some of our customers are gonna get dosed too, but he sees them as necessary casualties in his covert war against our top manager. I guess many of our customers are becoming very “regular” now. Not gonna improve business though. No sir. Hopefully the laxative will have a cumulative effect on our store director’s rotten insides and keep him where he belongs- at home on his crapper.

I pray to Satan that Ex-Lax works as advertised. Heh heh.

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~ by factorypeasant on August 29, 2004.

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